Bronson Arroyo just doesn't care

He's no Brandon Inge, but he'll do for now?

 

The story was good. If it was about 7 inches shorter it would have been better.

 

I get that a lot.

 

Goddamn USA Today and their long articles!

 

Wow, a self-absorbed ballplayer?

 

and an honest one.

 

the supplement companies are probably the most upset. i don't think they'll point to arroyo's stats or physique to say look how this works.

 

Arroyo makes some great points within the story. I think the steroid zealouts have done themselves a huge disservice by going hysterical about every perceived transgression. There's a big difference between a guy like Canseco loading himself to the gills with chemicals and someone who was using legal, over-the-counter andro 10 years ago. And there's a lot of gray in between.

 

Scene: Front desk MLB HQ. Arroyo walks in.

Desk Guy: Good morning, can I help you, sir?
Arroyo: Hi, Bronson Arroyo.
Desk Guy: From?
Arroyo: Cincinnati Reds?
Desk Guy: (giggles)
Arroyo: I'm here for the chat?
Desk Guy: (Hiccups and wipes eyes) Okeedokee, let's see here....hmm, Arroyo...Arroyo....Arr, oh, here it is. Chat, 11 am. You're in Chat Room #4, second door down that hall. Can I get you some MLB-sanctioned caffeinated coffee?

Arroyo enters Chat Room #4, where Helga from Labor/HR is waiting.
Helga: Can I help you?
Arroyo: Um, I'm Arroyo, here for the chat?
Helga: Yes, let's chat. How's the weather out there today? Still raining? Have you urinated yet today?
Arroyo: Um, yeah, it was raining, might stop this afternoon.
Helga: I have Mets tickets for tonight, I hope the game isn't called, can you estimate how many supplements you may have already ingested today, and the manufacturers of those supplements? Have you had a good summer?
Arroyo: Decent summer, yeah....took some Vitamin E, fish oil, drank a Red Bull, Cheerios with soy milk, some crap Rolen gave me, a handful of Adderall, I don't know.
Helga: Well, some kinds of soy milk can really raise hell with your insulin receptors, you know that, right? We've had issues with positive tests after someone drank too much soy milk, I would watch that if I were you.
Arroyo: It was my kids' milk, should we not give it to them?
Helga: Oh, I can't tell you what to do, we're just chatting here. Now, you mentioned amphetamines in that silly news story. We prefer coffee. Do you drink coffee? I can get you a Starbucks card at the front desk, that might be a better way to go. And whatever you're taking for injuries, recovery, that kind of thing....we're really getting behind Advil. Two in the morning, two at bedtime. Lots of water, stretching....some of the doctors are indicating a dose of Tylenol around midday, but that's not for me to say.
Arroyo: You want me to take Advil?
Helga: Well, I don't know, we're just chatting. So. Anyway. I think we're in great shape here, do you need your parking validated?

 

Apparently, the owners of the Pirates doesn't give a shit about winning a World Series.