Better racism, less pizza, Papa Johns

The best pizza I know in the world costs $26, I believe. Had one last weekend. And that is a simple pie: dough, sauce, mozzerella and a hint of basil. The place is in a high cost of living area, and I am a cheap bastard at heart. But I'd pay even more than that for this particular pizza and not bat an eyelash. It's what heaven tastes like, and there isn't a place in the world I know that can replicate what they do.

As for eating at a Times Square Friday's, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know you think everywhere was a mob scene because they were lighting the tree, and it sucks if you are in Manhattan and aren't familiar enough to know what to do, so it's not necessarily on you. But it wasn't necessary. At worst, you were a 20, 25 minute walk (even with having to toss slow-moving, arm-to-arm tourists out of the way) from a way better (although this is a low bar), less expensive meal. And with the 1/2/3, A/C/E, 7 trains, all right where you were, you were actually just minutes away from your choice of hundreds, if not thousands, of better meals. That is the thing about where you were. It was giving you infinite choices if you were able to avail yourself of them.

 

Food is not a big deal to me. I eat more to survive than for the joy of food. The one exception to that is pizza. I love making pizza, and rather than using one of those synthetic, home oven pizza stones you can buy, years ago someone put me onto lining the oven rack with quarry tile. You heat the oven up as high as it will go, which is usually 550 degrees for a home oven, and let the quarry tile get really hot. It makes for as good a homemade pizza as I am capable of.

It has to be quarry tile, because 95 percent of ceramic tiles are glazed, and the glazes have lead in them, and you don't want that in your food.

When I first did this probably 10, 15 years ago, I was able to walk into a Home Depot and walk out with a bunch of loose quarry tiles, and I think they were less than 50 cents each.

I went to do this several months ago, for another oven, and surprisingly, it has been an exercise in frustration. The chain home improvement stores don't carry quarry tile, and if you order them, you have to buy it by the case. A case isn't ridiculously expensive, but it's still the principle. If they are 6X6 tiles, I need 9 of them.

I have walked into I don't know how many tile stores -- if I am passing by one -- offering to pay a little premium for anything they have. No luck. I found a daltile showroom (they make several quarry tiles), and they gave me one 6X6 sample. Went to another of their showrooms in another city, and they wouldn't even give me one sample. I offered to pay up to just buy a few, and they have a warehouse right nearby, but they will only sell directly to trades people. I found an online home improvement site that offered free samples of some products, and said they were full sized tiles, not tile chips. I got really excited. I put in an order for four 10X10 quarry tile samples, and even though they wanted my credit card, which was suspicious, the order went through with a $0 charge. 2 days later, there was a UPS delivery. . . . with four 6X6 tiles (not 10X10).

So I am sitting here four 6X6 tiles short of what I need, and I am out of ideas. Yeah, I realize this is a ridiculous problem, but if anyone has any ideas, I figured I'd ask. The best I can come up with is asking a friend to order another four of the free samples from that site, but it feels kind of chintzy to me. I'm willing to buy a couple of quarry tiles at a reasonable price. It's just an impossible task.

 

Oh, yeah. Ebay is my go-to for every odd item, and I am the king of finding reasons to need odd items that I don't want to pay a lot for. I have yet to find anyone selling individual quarry tiles. Some selling boxes of it. One guy with a zillion ads selling boxes of various quarry tile. . . . with free local pickup. . . . in Los Angeles.