Better bring back those overdue library books, right now!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080822/ap_on_re_us/odd_library_arrest

Woman in Wisconsin arrested for not paying $30 in overdue book library fines.

I have to admit I'm a little worried. Over 20 years ago, when I was 12 or 13, I borrowed a book on the NFL from my local library. My mom said she returned it, but I guess she never did. 10 years later, the library called, wanting its book back, and I have no idea where it is.

And I remember reading in the Guinness Book of World Records that the longest overdue book was something like 150 years. It was a medical book, and was returned to the library by the borrower's great, great grandson. The fine of over $2,000 was waived.

 

I've seen your kind. You and your goodtime buddies.

 

Jerry: Let me speak with the head librarian. ... Because it's absurd. An overdue book from 1971? ... This is a joke right? What are you? From a radio station? Ya' got me I fell for it. All right, OK, I can be down there in like a half hour. Bye.
Kramer: What's the problem?
Jerry: This you're not goin' to believe. The NYPL says that I took out Tropic of Cancer in 1971 and never returned it.
Kramer: Do you know how much that comes to? That's a nickel a day for 20 years. It's going to be $50,000.
Jerry: It doesn't work like that.
Kramer: If it's a dime a day it could be $100,000.


"Trying to save a quarter."

 

Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

 

Nice.



Bookman: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?
Jerry: Certainly not.
Bookman: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

 

Well, I'll be.

 

You fail at life, Mikey.

 

I should have went for the gold first. Clearly, I wasted precious time.

 

D_B

 

It's a good thing that just means a doubled post. Because back in the hometown, when my brother-in-law says it, it means douche bag.

 

You assholes! I was just about to post this.

Well, this guy laughs at imprisoned girl, anyway.

 

I stole "Of Mine and Men" from my school's library when I was a junior. I've got it somewhere, I think. It's one of the two school books I read before my junior year of college. I wasn't leaving high school without it.