Best quotes you have heard during the spring sports season

with the spring sports season winding down and spring football practice beginning, I was wondering what have of the best quotes you have heard from either a coach or player.
One of mine comes from a football coach who has not won a region game in eight years. The h.s. recently won first place in some state-wide bow and arrow competition shit, and the majority of the participants were from the football team. I was talking with the football coach about spring practice and he says, "Yeah, we can't win a fucking football game but we can damn sure hit a fake deer with a bow and arrow." Classic.

 

"It's over."

 

"Off the record, we have to be the most stupid f*cking baseball team on the face of the earth. I mean, it's like these damn kids have never played a baseball game in their life." - HS baseball coach.

How I wish it was on the record.

 

Hell we've got coaches that would say that, minus the cursing, on the record.

 

Off the record (of course)...

"(Shitty middle reliever) didn't have it today. He was all over the fucking place. He's probably going to go home now and fuck his girlfriend in her belly button. That's how fucking bad he was today."

 

Wow. Best one I've heard in a while.

 

So that's where Nuke Laloosh wound up ...

 

That might be the funniest quote I've ever heard.

 

Yeah, I was going to post one, but its pointless. That wins.

 

Baseball game: Small Catholic School scores two runs on a series of errors.
Coach of SCS's opponent said (for the record), "Man, that was uglier than tartar sauce on fudge."
Everyone who read that in the paper made a face.
A week later, the coach said to me, "I can't believe you ran that! People are still coming up to me about it! And now I have to try to top it!"
Sometimes, this job is fun.

 

got one tonight: "We played with the emotion of a dead fish."

 

"We played badly well." -- Dave Cottle (Maryland men's lacrosse coach)

"It's like playing on [U.S. Route] 695." -- Mike Kelley, Chesapeake Tide running back, describing the playing surface at the team's home field (Show Place Arena, Upper Marlboro, Md.).