Baseball free agent game: Who signs where?

OK, this is a little late, but the only big-time player off the market appears to be Frank Thomas. So let's do this again!

Pick 10 free agents and their 2007 destination. Winner gets to watch Uma perform a vasectomy on the winner of Idaho's Idaho HS FB pool!!!! ;D

You can get the list of free agents here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/features/freeagents

 

My guesses:

Barry Bonds: Giants
Joe Borowski: Red Sox
Keith Foulke: Diamondbacks
Tom Glavine: Braves (haw haw!!!)
Ted Lilly: Giants
Gary Matthews Jr: Red Sox
Vicente Padilla: Rangers
Trot Nixon: A's
Andy Pettitte: Astros
Jason Schmidt: Mariners
Barry Zito: Mets

(this one goes to 11!!)

 

Mark De Rosa: Cubs

 

Kerry Wood: Cubs
Aramis Ramirez: Cubs
Generic washed-up starting pitcher: Cubs
Alfonso Soriano: Anyone but the Cubs
The 2007 sixth-place NL Central team: Cubs

 

Ask this guy where Zito's going: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/2006-11-14-boras-cover_x.htm

His office wall, by the way, is fucking awesome.

 

Soriano------Phillies (maybe wishful thinking, but i definatly think the phils could use him the most)
Carlos Lee-----Astros (need a power bat in that lineup somewhere)
Zito-------Mets (will be overpaid; will be the WORST signing of the offseason)
Schmidt-------Mariners (staying on the west coast, but not with the giants)
Bonds--------Giants(hes not going anywhere. period)
Baldelli--------Marlins (although he is hurt almost all the time, he would fit in well with florida's cheap but productive ways)
Baez---------Phillies(they need a RP that could close if needed; fits the bill perfectly)
Luis Gonzalez--------Cardinals (strong rumblings that they have been after him for a while)
Gil Meche--------Rangers (always sign at least one mediocre pitcher)
Juan Pierre------Padres (nice fit in their hit and run philosophy at petco)

That was a lot harder than i thought it be.

 

There is no way the Phillies sign Soriano. None. They are the kings of finishing second year-round.

And Aubrey Huff (Tigers?) will be the worst signing of the winter, because he's going to get four years.

 

J.D. Drew: Arizona
Alfonso Soriano: Anaheim
Juan "Chef" Pierre: White Sox
Mark Mulder: Texas
Danny "Gopher Ball" Kolb: Cincinnati
Julio Lugo: San Diego
Shea Hillenbrand: Pittsburgh
Vicente Padilla: Cubs
Woody Williams: St. Louis
Steve Trachsel: Dodgers


Kent Mercker: Steve Stone's Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings
David Wells: Jiffy Lube
Chris Gomez: Addams Family Reunion
Jason Marquis: unsuccessful dunk tank target hurler
Jose Mesa: maitre 'd, Chez Paul
Phil Nevin: Chicago Tribune security guard
Chan Ho Park: Iraq reconstruction allotment supervisor

 

i disagree BYH, i really do think that they will sign soriano. They are the most aggresive out there for soriano.

 

I hear the Brewers are hot on the trail of a utility outfielder past his sell date.

Just like every other offseason.

 

Barry Bonds -- Giants
Sean Casey -- Dodgers
J.D. Drew -- Red Sox
Tom Glavine -- Braves
Luis Gonzalez -- Angels
Ted Lilly -- Mariners
Mike Mussina -- Yankees
Mike Piazza -- Angels
Jason Schmidt -- Yankees
Barry Zito -- Dodgers

 

I read that Mulder might become a Blue Jay.