Balance: Work and Family

You'll find that this is true of work in general. You absolutely have to find a way, if family is something that appeals to you. There is nothing like coming home and having my little boy come running at me, arms open. (Tempered, however, with what usually comes next: "Dora? Dora?" All of 2 and already playing us against one another when it comes to the idiot box.)

My wife did the stay-at-home thing for a year and now the working mom thing, and both have their advantages and drawbacks. She's exhausted, and she works regular hours as a teacher, and we live about four blocks from her job and about two blocks (on the way) from the day care.

 

This thread is a bit depressing, to be honest. Everything on here makes it sound like it's a second full-time job, which I already suspected, and I'm not sure I want that. When I get home during this month, the first thing I do is flip on Versus and watch the NHL playoffs because I love hockey. Do I lose that because I happen to work in sports while other men who don't spend their free time watching their sport of choice? Doesn't seem like a great trade to me.

At my last paper, everyone I saw who had a wife was just miserable. The happiest people in the newsroom were myself, my editor and the managing editor. None of us were married. Coincidence or trend? I'm not sure.

I'm very apprehensive about having a family, because I like my life as is and I don't know if family would improve it. Besides my editor, it was one other guy at my last paper. He had three kids and a wife, probably some friends as well since he was from close to the area and was in his 40's. Everyone I cared about, except for an uncle and his family about four hours north, was over a thousand miles away. I had nobody, but I was much happier than he was. He looked worn down, while I genuinely loved what I was doing.

Maybe I'm different because my dream was covering sports instead of having a family, I don't know. It probably doesn't help matters either that I'm ridiculously used to the extra hours and have never had a job that is over in 40 hours. Work 20-30 hours a week for nothing? Heck, I've been doing that since I was 8.

Well, it wasn't quite nothing, I think my father paid me $0.50 an hour. Close enough, though.

 

Nighthawk, it can be done, but it's tougher at the smaller papers, no doubt. DVR is my friend. I've been big on the western conference playoffs this year because it's on generally as my wife goes to sleep and I retreat to the office to do some late-night website management (a nightly 3-hour chore, usually about 10-1...but it can be done from home).

It's great because we usually have "prime time" hours together between about 6-10. So I let that Eastern Conference game slide at 7, then watch the western conference game that starts at 9:30. You'll notice on the NBA thread, I'll have something to say about the Mavs- Lakers, but nothing about the Celtics-Heat, ha.

 

Even assuming that you will never care about having a family - and you probably will - you still shouldn't be working 20-30 hours extra for free because you like it. Your time has value. And you're also screwing your co-workers by pulling that shit. Royally. Stop it. Stop it now.

 

Nighthawk loves the work too much to stop. Covering prep sports is much more important than socializing. There are too many sports writers who hang out at the office all day instead of taking a break.

 

There are very few things in life -- at least where I'm at in life anyway -- that beat leaving work, coming home and cracking open a cold beer on the back deck.

I had that when I worked in newspapers as well. It just happened at 1 a.m. And I didn't mind it all that much. But priorities change as you get older, obviously. Now, I prefer drinking on my deck at 5 in the afternoon. Or at a waterfront bar on Friday for happy hour.

The thought of having to give up my Friday night to cover high school football makes me physically ill. At one time, I couldn't imagine anything better than that, though. Shit changes.

 

You forgot firing up the grill and throwing on some tunes on the iPod.

 

I do, and I admit it. I haven't had to work more than 40 since changing papers two months ago, but if the time comes when I need to in order to get the job done, I will. I do whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was raised, the job is done when the work is done, not when you reach a set number of hours.

Plus, I do this job because it's fun. If it stops being fun, I have other skills I can use. But for now, this is what I love. Like Ryan said, things can change, and if they do, I'll do something else. Right now, though, the thought of giving up covering high school football on a Friday night in the fall makes me ill...unless it's to cover college basketball.

 

Well, that's not how the working world is set up. Sorry. You are paid hourly. (I assume.)

Were you also raised to not screw your teammates? Because that's what you're doing when you work for free.

"Hey, cops reporter, why do you need overtime for that triple homicide? Nighthawk is getting eight pages out every night, and covering six games, in forty hours!"

 

If you guys love it so much, why don't you take those 20 hours and pour them into trying to freelance for magazines or the alternative press or write a book? That will advance your career more than 20 extra hours on the prep trail. And you'll possibly get paid.

 

We are a team, but at the same time, we are not a team. If I miss something on my beat because I didn't want to go more than 40 hours, are my co-workers going to come to my defense when my editor gets upset with me? I doubt it. If more than 40 hours is what it takes to get the job done, that's what I'm going to do.

 

The pressure comes from not wanting to get beat on a breaking story and getting the shit beat out of you by the higher-ups when you do. So you try to outwork the other guy. Most of us have bought into that mentality, sadly. I certainly did. And it wasn't until I was out of the business for a lot of months that I realized that it simply isn't worth it.