Avatars

I hope not.

 

They say that pets and owners look alike, and I hope its true, cause Bandit is a stone-cold pimp.

 

I don't think of people actually looking like their avatars, but I think of the avatars representing their personalities.

 

Maybe I am jolly and enjoy golf. Maybe not.

 

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to get drunk and talk to BYH's portrait.

"You think you're so great there, BYH. I know you. I studied you. You weren't worth shit. You had the media supporting you. The media always been out to get old PopeDirk. But you had them eating out of your hand. You had the looks, but you didn't have the brains. You never understood the world. Sure, you could get women, but could you ever make them happy? If I had the looks and the media and the money, maybe they would build memorials for me. My mother was a saint. She deserves to be treated like you were. When the historians see how I changed this place, maybe then I'll get my due. You were a crook just like me, you fucking asshole."

 

Richard Nixon talking to Miss Piggy. Wonderful.

I've gone from being Meredith Brooks to being a strawberry. Just trading one dysfunction for another, I guess.

 

I admit that my opinion of people is coloured by their avatars. But then I go to confession and say some "Hail Mary"s and I'm okay again.

 

Please don't whack me on the knuckles with a ruler!

 

I'm just glad that when people meet me and see that I am, in fact, a cartoon elephant, they can't judge me.

 

Except a much less prominent trunk.

 

I'm a lot more talkative than my avatar.

 

Oh really? I always thought your show sucked.