Are you ......

I'm young enough that four years represents a chasm, a period in time in which everything changes, a gulf of unavoidable consequence. And everything has changed, and none of it was predictable, and all of it came with massive consequence. I'm about three steps ahead of where I expected to be professionally. I've faced personal loss in the form of three close relatives and a reliable car. I've squandered thousands on an awful replacement. I've lost more friends than I've made, and I'm getting laid much less frequently.

I'm not sure I've ever really been happy with my station in life, and I'm not sure that's such a bad thing at my age. Happy people have no reason to improve things. But in the past four years, I've become more self-aware and longing, and that leads to increased discontent even though I have more to be thankful about these days on the fourth Thursday of November. Only the gratified can turn toward self-actualization, but that doesn't make them any less restless.

 

That last sentence is a terrific way to look at life -- not inappropriate at all. As with everyone else here, my heart goes out to you, Amy, and I wish you much laughter now and in the future.

And I hope you'll stay around here.

 

I did miss her initial answer and I don't know about Amy's particular situation. Maybe she or someone can PM me so that we don't bog down the thread. The responses have been very interesting. Thanks one and all for your candor.

 

An interesting discussion, and to me the overriding theme is just how interconnected the various areas of our lives are. Try as we might, we cannot completely separate the financial from the professional from the relationship-al, from the health. Each affects all the others.

As for me, four years ago I was about to enter a debt-management plan at the same time that my income was going to take a significant hit. That one issue consumed my thoughts at all hours of the day. Since then, though, I've gotten a much better job and worked my way very close to being done with the DMP. There were also some personal issues I was struggling with that I've made progress on. Through those things, I managed to keep my house, have my two children graduate from high school with honors and develop a more positive outlook. Better without question.

 

My youngest child is healthy now ... so yes.

 

Professionally, things seem to be better. We haven't had furloughs or a pay cut in well over a year, and the company seems committed to improving the product and staying for the long haul.

Personally, much worse. Four years ago, my son was about to deploy to Iraq, now he's about to deploy to Afghanistan. Plus, my wife and daughter aren't currently on speaking terms, and it looks like that situation may not resolve itself any time soon.

 

I'm four years closer to death now, so I say I'm not better off.

 

Yes, I'm better off. In 2009, I took a lateral move across the country for the same pay and we've loved living in our new community for the past 3 years.

With the constant layoffs and bad news in this business, I feel very fortunate to have a job. God bless all the empty nesters who live here.

 

Interesting metric, because it's one I've been using. I'm an Olympics nut and I accepted my current job on the last weekend of the Beijing Games, so with London rolling around, I've been taking stock a lot.

Financially, yes. I left an hourly job at a sister paper just before things really went south for the company, leading to hours cuts, and landed in a salaried job. Big increase, no, but it's stable. I know the only way that I go down is if the whole ship goes down and I'll see that coming. I'm not exactly living a more extravagant lifestyle than I did, but I have minimal debt and I don't have a problem with living relatively simply. I get my daily bread, enough to amuse myself from time to time and give a little to God and there's now something of a nest egg (albeit in a 401K) that I could concievably tap if everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Socially, no. At 28, I'm confronted by the reality that many of my peers are settling down and having weddings and families, whereas my social skills, surroundings and schedule have made those prospects seem very barren to me. Four years ago, I could blame it on my location, a relatively small, relatively old community. I now live in a college town. Still small, but there are tons more women in their 20s here than there and I'm just as single as I was then. Though said college is an engineering/science school with a 3:1 ratio to the bad, I don't have as many excuses. Furthermore, the 'half-plus-seven' rule dictates that I should be trying different markets as it is. I don't like to use the word 'lonely' because it implies desperation, but it sure looks like that to me some Saturdays.

Spiritually, somewhat. More than one sign in my life leads me to believe my next job is as likely to be in ministry as in journalism. I've tried to do some leadership things in my church with mixed results. I'm happy to serve. However, enjoying guest preaching and serving on boards is one thing and being called to ministry is quite another. I don't know how big the gap between the two is for me yet. Also, referring to the points above, I wonder if I need to sort out those issues first and I don't know if a single man can go into a field like ministry in this day and age and not be viewed with some sort of suspicion.

So, it's complicated. If you asked me to pick one, though, I'd probably take the present.

 

Nope.

Four years ago my dad was alive and I didn't hate the job I have now.

I guess I'm lucky to have a job, but it's pretty much squeezing my soul out of me on a daily basis and I'm slowly losing my posity outlook on life. No dad, no money -- but I still have Dr. J, my mom and several very good close friends.

If I had got the job I interviewed for a few weeks ago my answer may have been a lot different.

 

Same.

Maybe a tad more outgoing because of the company I keep. They can be rather gregarious.

 

Yo man. I'm sorry to hear about your problems. I'll pray for you. Things will get better. Things happen for a reason and you will be stronger by what you've gone through. Trust me.