Apply for job, tell the wife or no?

Blame Sonner.
Seriously.
Blame. Sonner.

 

This prolly should be SportsJournalists.com's default position.

 

Most of my experience with husbandry involves East African endangered species, but I am pretty sure you are supposed to trust your spouse. What happens when the editor calls your home?

 

Well, get a pre-nup, then trust your spouse.

 

Trying anal, tell your wife.

 

Unless it's with the secretary.

 

Don't tell her, but please let me know when you do because I want to be there.

 

It sounds as if not telling her (at this point) is not a bad idea. You are applying to find out more about the job. You have made absolutely no commitment and you are fairly certain that nothing will come of it. You are also fairly certain that she will worry and fret over it. If you make it past the initial pile of applications and in to the potential interviewee stage, you should of course tell her. But right now, there's really nothing substantive that absolutely cries out to be shared.

It is a bit different in my line of work, because the timeline is so much more dragged out. Right now is the time in which opportunities begin popping up, but these are to start next fall. The hiring committees won't start wading through the applications until some time late this fall, and interviews won't begin until late January/early February. Even if an opportunity popped up that I thought I'd have a good chance at, and even if said opportunity was in an area of the country that I know my wife would love to return to, I wouldn't tell her if I applied just yet. That's because I'd not want her fretting and/or stewing until we are actually confronted with a decision regarding whether to make a serious play for that opportunity.

Now you may have some back history that's really important here. Maybe she's already made lots of sacrifices to accommodate your career meanderings. Maybe your current job is perfect (re: location, etc.) for her. Maybe she has a clearer eye with regard to how good your current job really is. If these (or something like them) are in play, then you should definitely tell her upfront so she can smack you upside the head. If you don't tell her, even if the job doesn't pan out, if she finds out you applied she's going to smack you upside the head even harder, because she's going to become certain that you're continually trying to undermine all she/you have put together. But absent these, I don't see how not telling her about this tentative initial move has a downside.

 

Absent a HUGELY compelling reason not to tell her — and, no, I don't believe "but she'll worry" is a legitimate reason — honesty is the best policy in most relationships.

You don't put your significant other in a situation where you're on stage 2 or 3 of a decision, and she doesn't even know about stage 1 yet. That's the sign of a larger communication problem.

 

Depends. Does she disappear for "girls' night out" overnight trips several times a week?

 

My vote would be to tell her. Seems like if you're married, she might want to know about this.