Apply for job, tell the wife or no?

Better not mess with trust. She could find some things to keep from you, too.

 

If you have to ask that question, you really need to re-evaluate being married.

 

I turned down a pretty big job offer without telling my wife. She wasn't too happy about it. She loves where we're at and didn't want to leave for where it was despite the pay difference, and I knew that, which is why I said no. She was just unhappy about the fact I didn't include her in the decision, which, in retrospect, totally fair.

You'd probably be better off telling her or if you get an interview, definitely then.

 

The fact that I am only half-serious. I suspect the pay will be below or close to what I make now - which is an immediate deal breaker.
My thought is by telling her, she starts to worry and fret - over something that amounts to pretty much nothing.
Why get into that over what - at this point - amounts to nothing?

If I apply I will prolly tell her, but I wanted some feedback.

 

Yes, she pretty much has veto power. She earns three times what I earn. We moved here a decade ago because of me. And she wasn't real thrilled, in spite of the fact we are half hour from her folks and she things worked out really, really well for her here.

 

Please continue ... I am intrigued and excited by this idea.

 

Aw fuck!

 

The person who came up "prolly" needs to be drawn-and-quartered.

 

Prolly.

 

1) You tell her, and at worst she's worried for a few months about whether or not you'll be discussing this job seriously.

2) You don't tell her, and at best she'll wonder what else you're not telling her for the rest of you're life.

 

You can break this out into a chart if you'd like ...

Applying for a job? Tell your wife.
Buying a car? Tell your wife.
Lost your wedding ring? Tell your wife.
Fucking your secretary? Don't tell your wife.

 

Voice of dissent here. My wife is the type that would worry and stress a lot about something like this. And applying for a job means NOTHING until you get an interview, considering that 95 percent of resumes end up in oblivion.

I know (because Mrs. Beanpole told me once) that she doesn't want to know about job applications unless I get a callback for an interview. Only then does she get the details, and then she gets to say, 'yeah, that sounds cool' or 'Please don't go seriously for this, it's going to screw up mortgage/daycare/date nights/family dynamics/etc).'

That's worked well for us. Less stress for her means less stress for me.