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Another piece

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by JD, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. JD

    JD Member

    http://www.dailydemocrat.com/sports/ci_7268455


    Check it out, let me know what you think. Thanks in advance.
     
  2. jlee

    jlee Active Member

    I'd slim down the lede a little. There's a lot of info that can wait until later. Let the readers know the Wolves backs are against the wall, but say that they lost, making Thursday's game a must-win, a little quicker.

    I'd avoid "not so fast" anywhere outside of a column. And "too little too late" is unnecessary also.

    You answered "what does this mean" well, and I came away feeling I knew a decent amount about Woodland soccer just by reading the article.
     
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