Andy Reid's son found dead

I'm curious, and I do have my opinions on this question, which did your mom find more difficult to treat, alcoholism or drug addiction?

 

I would have had no problem with the statement if it said that Garrett Reid "succumbed to his addiction"

I'm not trying to start a fight here (too late, I know...) but I have a problem with it being called a disease.

I see that as people making excuses for people. "He can't help it, it's a disease!!!" I have plenty of family members who are alcoholics and that's the excuse everybody makes for them. I've never bought that excuse and never will...

If people feel otherwise, that's fine...

 

Maybe it's just semantics we're arguing, but I think what hurts the argument for drug/alcohol addiction as a "disease" is that diseases very frequently victimize people who have done nothing to "deserve" such an affliction.

I say this as a person who lost one of my best friends to cancer when he was 20 years old. Never drank, never smoked, no dipping, nothing. Great student. The kind of kid we all wanted to be.

I also say this as the son of an alcoholic father who drank at least a six-pack every day for the 21 years we shared space on this planet.

It's difficult for me to equate the two. My father chose to take that first drink and his choices greatly affected the lives of my mother and my siblings. My buddy got no such choice.

 

Well-said.

 

I think Lurie's comments are more bizarre.

Reid is coping the best way he know how. But, Laurie seems thrilled, and proud of him, for being so focused on football.

 

They have a great relationship. Laurie is hurting as much as Reid. He also knows that Reid is a focused individual who will come back when he is mentally prepared to comeback and not sooner.

 

I think it's a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

Should he take the season off? Should he retire?

Last year when Philbin's kid died, the Packers were attending a funeral 2-3 days before they played the Giants. I don't care how much of a hardass you think you are, that's going to have an impact. He coached in that game, just a couple days later. There are a lot of people who believe that's a big reason why they lost that game. How could anybody be able to function a couple days later?

Don't get me wrong, there are many, many, many, many things more important than football and it's not a question of "blaming" anybody, but there is no right answer here...

Lurie's comments definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I don't understand why he didn't just say something like, "Our hearts and prayers are with the Reid family and we will support him no matter what he decides to do."

 

Here is Laurie's statement. It was, in my opinion, sincere and genuine. I don't know what you're reading. Stop trying to psychoanalyze everything. You're not doing a good job at it.

By PhiladelphiaEagles.com

Eagles chairman/CEO Jeffrey Lurie provided the following statement in the wake of the passing of Garrett Reid, the 29-year-old son of head coach Andy Reid:

"Today is one of life's tough days. I think I'll just tell you a little bit of my conversations with Andy and my conversations with the team. Andy is, he's a rock solid man. I think what makes him a great coach is his combination of compassion, feeling and strength. Today, he exhibited it all. It's unimaginable the pain. We've all suffered; most of us have suffered tragedy in our lives. Losing a son is unimaginable, losing a child is unimaginable, the pain. Yet, he is rock solid. All he wanted to talk to me about was a couple of things, which was how incredibly excited he is for this football team, that's been obvious I think from the beginning of training camp to all of us. But he wanted me to know that. Secondly, that he treasures these practices and he feels bad he's going to not be at practice today or probably tomorrow and he just think they're incredibly important. At the same time, this is a father grieving and fully grieving.

"I've watched Andy try so hard with his family over the years. He just, he cares so much about his family that it's a hard one. You see a man that really cares and sometimes what happens, happens in life. As he and I discussed, life throws you curveballs and the thing to do, and I've always felt this and I think Andy feels the same way, is you gain from loss, you gain from tragedy. I always think that there's no way today that I would own an NFL team if I hadn't lost my dad when I was 9, and it was shocking. It made me stronger. There are choices to be made when tragedy happens, you can become stronger and even more focused and learn from it and treat live as a challenge, or you can bow down. Andy is somebody, he said to me, I'm going to hit that curveball and hit it out of the park, on the field and off the field. That's the message that he wanted me to have.

"I think it's what makes him so dedicated. He loves his players. He loves his coaches. He feels so bad that he's even interfering with their success today, tomorrow. He knows they are in good hands with our coaches, but actually in this moment of terrible pain he's actually reaching out to all of us. You know that rock-solid guy who takes the bullets after games and all of that, but as I said to the players, 'You have to accept the grief and the tears and at the same time gather the strength and the desire to be excellent. Not just in football, but in life.’

"You're dealing with a coach, we've been together longer than any owner and head coach tandem in the NFL and his family. I knew Garrett when he was 14, 15 years old, all of his kids. The thing with Andy is he's strong and rock solid, but deep down he's a teddy bear. And the players who know him know that really well. All of us that know him know that really, really well. It's why he's so effective. Is he perfect? No. No one is, but that combination again of strength and tenderness is very, very special.

"Today, my feeling is between myself, and all of us who are around him and the players, we've just got to be supportive. We're going to be fine, but I want him to be fine. My heart goes out to Tammy and his family and at the same time as the players have said to me; we are going to practice hard, focus. When he's not here, do what he wants. I expect Andy to be coaching this week and back. He feels that way and he is very, very focused on both his family and his profession. I can't think of anything else to say except when you're dealing with a family in pain; be gentle, and at the same time understand at times they are going to exhibit strength because that's what they need to do. I think that's what we all need to do.

"Thank you for taking the time and I do look forward to having a press conference with you guys over and above and separate before the regular season, but this is a tough day. Thank you very much."

 

I'm kind of in Mizzou's camp here. I've never really looked at alcoholism as a disease, DSM or not. Calling alcoholism a disease feels like calling being a smoker a disease - you chose to do it, and now you're addicted. You can't choose to get cancer, and you can't choose to no longer have cancer once you have it. But you can choose to drink (or smoke), and you can choose to stop once you've started (difficult as it may be).

 

Disagree.

Also, Lurie.

 

The addiction discussion made me think of this post from David Simon I read a couple days ago: http://davidsimon.com/deandre-mccullough-1977-2012/. It's a great (and sad) read no matter which side of the argument you fall on.

 

And depressed people should just cheer the fuck up.