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And this year's winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by JR, Aug 14, 2008.

  1. JR

    JR Active Member

    Sometimes known as the "It was a dark and stormy night" contest


    The overall winner:

    “Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped, 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.' ”

    And a dishonourable mention goes to this woman from Double J country:

    “The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.”

    I bet there are numerous SportsJournalists.com members who could beat these for next year's contest.

    Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.
  2. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Pengooins is practically chickens, you know.
  3. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    It's hard to hate you for hating America--and Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut--when you come up with BRILLIANT ideas like this!
  4. JR

    JR Active Member

    Well, that's my job.

    Keeping America on track, crappy fast food and all.
  5. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    You got that damn right.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm having a heart attack. Or a sugar rush. Or both.
  6. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    How could you possibly hate anyone for hating Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut?
  7. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I'm a complicated man.
  8. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    Anyone else rather keen on seeing what Jones might produce for a Bulwer-Lytton entry?
  9. D.Sanchez

    D.Sanchez Member

    And for brevity, if nothing else, Barry J. Drucker of Bentonville, Ark., received a miscellaneous dishonourable mention for this: “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”

    Damn, looks like I have to come up with a new opening line for my novel.
  10. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    I liked the winner. It was funny and very well-written within the context of the contest.
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