And this year's winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Sometimes known as the "It was a dark and stormy night" contest

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080814.wbulwer0814/BNStory/Entertainment/home

The overall winner:

“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped, 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.' ”

And a dishonourable mention goes to this woman from Double J country:

“The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.”

I bet there are numerous SportsJournalists.com members who could beat these for next year's contest.

Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.

 

Pengooins is practically chickens, you know.

 

It's hard to hate you for hating America--and Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut--when you come up with BRILLIANT ideas like this!

 

Well, that's my job.

Keeping America on track, crappy fast food and all.

 

You got that damn right.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm having a heart attack. Or a sugar rush. Or both.

 

How could you possibly hate anyone for hating Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut?

 

I'm a complicated man.

 

Anyone else rather keen on seeing what Jones might produce for a Bulwer-Lytton entry?

 

And for brevity, if nothing else, Barry J. Drucker of Bentonville, Ark., received a miscellaneous dishonourable mention for this: “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”


Damn, looks like I have to come up with a new opening line for my novel.

 

I liked the winner. It was funny and very well-written within the context of the contest.