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.... and the horse you rode in on

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Ace, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Above is an AP second-day story. Any thoughts/comments on the lede?
  2. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    How about: Pathetic.
  3. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    It's humorous in a I'm-laughing-at-you-not-with-you sort of way.
  4. SoSueMe

    SoSueMe Active Member

    Clever, kinda. But poorly worded.
  5. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    That about sums it up.
  6. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    Well no wonder he rushed for so many yards. According to this lede, it sounds like everyone else on the field was a white guy.
  7. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Personally, I thought it was a yeoman's effort.

    Yo, man, that sucked.
  8. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    I enjoyed it.
  9. LazyReporter

    LazyReporter Member

    "rode in on to..."

    I'm no grammarian, but isn't there some kind of law about using three consecutive two-letter words? Or at least a rule against using back-to-back prepositions?

    The wording is just plain clunky to me.
  10. writing irish

    writing irish Active Member

    Modal verbs plus more prepositions means trouble.

    With a few exceptions, I hate clever ledes in gamers. Just tell the fucking game story. If I want to be dazzled with wit I'll read David Sedaris.
  11. SoSueMe

    SoSueMe Active Member

    Atop a field so blanched with snow, the horse on which Shaun Alexander rode went unnoticed.
    Alexander’s heroic 201-yard performance on a career-high 40 carries across the snow-covered turf Monday night did far more than rescue Seattle from a 21-12 deficit in the second half to beat the Green Bay Packers. It returned Alexander to his league MVP level of 2005 after three months of irrelevance caused by a badly bruised left foot that eventually became broken and caused a seven-week layoff.
  12. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Yes. The rule that says I would have re-written that lede top to bottom.
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