And on the Republican side for 2008

If all these candidates run, I'm trying to picture a 15-person debate on TV for the Iowa caucuses and I can't.

 

A Simple Proposal:

 

That makes sense. I had blanked out on how much of Korea Truman was responsible for. It's funny to think that for as reviled as GW Bush is today, he got no legitimate competition for the party's nomination and won re-election even though he was as vulnerable as a naked man's nuts at a Rockettes tryout. Meanwhile everyone loves and respects Truman now, but he couldn't even get out of his first primary as a sitting president in 1952 without wearing his ass for a hat </red forman>

 

Kucinich might qualify. He's a little out there.

 

I can't wait to see how that question is answered around here.

 

The Al Sharpton of the Republican Party will not be eligible for the 08 race, what with term limits and all.

 

Bold prediction time:

Hardline Democrats' least-favorite Republican ever: whoever wins the nomination.
Hardline Republicans' least-favorite Democrat ever: whoever wins the nomination.

 

Sirs, Madames,

The GOP nominees call to mind The Legion of Substitute Heroes (DC, Adventure #306). Thanks to Wikipedia on this one.

Antenna Lad, who has the power to tune into any broadcast from any era but mostly at random. Newt, probably, though his dial is stuck on 1994. Could be Contract Lad, ability to forge pacts and fast-track divorces.
Chlorophyll Kid, Ral Benem from the planet Mardru has the power to make plants grow super fast. He gained this power after falling into a vat of super plant growth formula as a small child. I'll go with the weedy Pataki.
Color Kid, Ulu Vakk, Lupra can change the color of objects. Gained his power after being struck by a ray from another dimension (Adventure Comics #365 – Meet the Legion) Rudy. Clearly.
Double-Header, who has two heads. Maybe Elizabeth Dole gets into the race.
Fire Lad, Stag Mavlen from the planet Schwar. Gained the power to breathe fire (often accidentally, as he suffers from allergies that cause him to sneeze)after inhaling vapors from a crashing meteor. Rev. Brownback.
Infectious Lass, who spontaneously generates infectious diseases (and once became Infectious Lad, after giving himself a case of Granderian Gender Reversal Germs) Condi, spreading the democracy virus throughout the Middle East, though the gender reversal makes me wonder what ever happened to Harriet (Harry) Miers.
Porcupine Pete, who has quills Prickly John McCain.
Stone Boy, Dag Wentim from the planet Zwen. The people of Zwen gained the power to turn into stone as a way of hibernation on a planet whose night is six months long. At first Stone Boy would transform into an inanimate, insensate stone statue; however, over time he was able to stay conscious during his transformation. Awaiting an announcement from former Speaker Hastert.

YHS, etc

 

Sirs, Madames,

Of course if you want the full Republican panorama you have to go to The Legion of Net. Heroes. Again, thanks to wikipedia

Ultimate Ninja: the leader of the LNH, he possesses any ability that is construed as being oriental in nature. He is a master martial artist, a stern but effective leader, and uses maple seeds (or "Ninja Bush") to propel himself into a deadly rage. Part of the tension in the character is that, at any moment, at the drop of a hat, he could kill the entire Legion. Sun Tzu himself, Karl Rove.
Cannon Fodder: possessing the ability to be killed, only to appear again in the next issue; no matter where he is killed, he always regenerates within the Peril Room. Rummy.
Catalyst Lass: one of the Ninja's most trusted deputies, Cat possesses the ability to convince others to share her interests (thus being the catalyst for new hobbies and opinions). How she does this, and her general personality, is a point of contention: some authors write her as being very domineering, others as very sexy (or, for that matter, ditzy and frivolous), while some try to integrate all these various ideas. Laura.
Kid Recap: possessing the uncanny ability to recap what happened in previous stories. William Kristol, though Woodward would work.
Master Blaster: a chauvinist pig who uses "Mack Daddy Vibes" to seduce unsuspecting women. He is often seen using a large gun and spouting ridiculous opinions. His sexism has mellowed somewhat since his marriage to Sister State-the-Obvious, whose abilities should require no explanation. Dick Cheney, natch.
CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE: he speaks only in capital letters; this is a reference to bad netiquette. RUSH.
Kid Kirby: a cosmic being with many untold cosmic powers and infallible wisdom, including the ability to be the tallest person in the room. These are derived from the Power Kirby. He also has an army of Kirbybots who often take his place in stories. O'Reilly.

YHS, etc

 

Sirs, Madames,

Of course, the Legion of Republican Super-Heroes need convenient foils. These can be found in Adventure's Legion of Super-Assassins. (wikipedia, again)

Blok -- a silicon-based life form with a rock-like humanoid appearance and increased mass and strength. He also was able to absorb certain types of energy and had a life span much longer than that of humans. Ted Kennedy, a silicon and alcohol mix.
Silver Slasher -- a female with a metallically enhanced body and razor sharp fingers. She was also able to spin her body at increased speeds and her metallic body gave her strength and hardness to cut through most substances. Hil.
Titania -- A super strong female with increased invulnerability. Her strength rivaled Mon-El or Superboy. Pelosi, also Italian.
Lazon -- He can turn into any form of light. Obama.
Mist Master -- Can turn into any form of gas or vapor Greenhouse gas Al Gore.
Neutrax -- He sits in a flying chair much like Metron of the New Gods. He has the power to neutralize others powers for short periods of time. Harry Reid.

YHS, etc