Alternatives to cursing

Yippee ki yay, Mr. Foster.

 

Wait until they install NewsGate.

 

I'm having a tough time with this at home. I feel lame saying horsefeathers (our new "bullshit.")

To this day I've heard my uber-religious mama utter the F-word once, and it was while Armando "Ball One" Benitez was in the process of blowing a save.

 

Liar. Benitez has never blown a save in his career.

 

There are no alternatives. It is a newsroom. Tell her to grow a thicker fucking skin.

 

When I took my first job out of college, my editor and the other writers and deskers said two things: "Hello" and "You don't get offended easily, right?"

Coarse language comes along with frustration deadline pressures and dealing with absolute morons. I've never been in a newsroom where bad or "inappropriate" language is not allowed.

 

The last two newsrooms I worked in had no official sanction against profanity, but in both places, a number of coworkers clearly took umbrage with those who used off-color language. Come-guzzling cockfucks.

 

do i work with you?

 

As one might expect, I was not a particular favorite of the no-bad-words crowd in either case.

No telling what sort of depravity lurked beneath their (surely hypocritical) aggressive Puritanism. They probably went into the restrooms and put Vicks Vapo-Rub on each other's taints during break.

 

That sounds uncomfortable.

 

no, he said taint.

 

I just came up with that because we have a certain corpulent, perpetually-half-asleep coworker around here and we like to say he stays awake by vapo-rubbing his taint.