Advice to 17 Year Old Self?

Stop being so serious. Don't think so much.

 

Stop being such a simpering puss with girls. Seriously, you're pathetic. You make Gary from "The Last American Virgin" look like Hugh Hefner.

Don't date anybody in college. No not her. Or her. Nobody. Are you seriously thinking about going to that third-rate school because a girl you like is there? Holy shit, you're a moron. Keep driving three more hours and you'll find the right school.

Learn how to work on cars. Your stepdad doesn't give a shit about your baseball games, but the guy can save you an assload of cash on car repair over the next decade, so ask him to teach you some shit and actually listen to him instead of watching countless hours of SportsCenter.

Yeah, you can write OK, but you're not anywhere near as good as you think you are. You'll lose that ego in about a decade, but until then try to avoid being an insufferable prick.

 

"Attending WAZZU is great preparation for real life. It teaches you not to expect too much."

Don James.

Sorry Lester ;D

 

People will say things to you that sound really obvious like "You need to work hard, plan, save your money, etc."
You'll say you know, but you really don't know.

 

Don't let that chick with the cold sore on her lip give you a blow job.