Advice to 17 Year Old Self?

Expect the Inquisition[/spnited]

 

Mine...

1. You're nowhere near as damned overweight and unattractive as you think — see yourself in 10 years — so don't be so damned shy around the ladies.
2. Football may not lead to a career, but it will be very fulfilling and keep you in shape. Don't quit playing because you think there are better options for your future. Ditto with hockey.
3. Your friends now can be your best friends in the future. Don't be so quick to condemn them, and don't be afraid to have a bit more fun now. Whether you grow apart or not, these days will be better.
4. You don't know everything, even though you truly think you do.

 

1. Don't go to stand up in the bed of your friend's truck just before he punches the brakes. Good thing you're slow, and you won't be upright enough to go flying over the cab, but that gash above your eyebrow is going to take quite some time to heal. Stay seated.

 

Listen to you mother.

Listen to your grandmother.

 

be enthusiastic and passionate about whatever floats your boat. the cool kids who sneered at that in high school will be rallying 'round in your '20s. knowing your own path and going after it full bore is attractive stuff, and becomes more and more so as you age. why? because cool ages into cynicism -- and after a while that shit gets old.

 

Stop chasing that stupid girl, she won't make you happy... EVER. You will find the one you are meant to be with in just a few years, and she will make you happy every day, so forget the crap and enjoy your life. Oh, and stop writing stupid poetry, when you are nearing 30 that shit will just embarrass you and make you wish you heard these words.
Except the waffle poem, that one is freaking gold!

 

Not everyone's ready for college coming out of high school. Weigh the offers between the Navy and Air Force, serve your time and go to college when you actually have a clue.

And, F*CK what the guidance counselor advises. There's a reason she's a friggin' guidance counselor, and it ain't because she's made stellar life choices.

 

Make something out of all of that athletic talent you've got. Just because nobody recruited you doesn't mean you're not good enough, so keep working your ass off and submit some videos to colleges and get a scholarship.

On that vein, go find a nutritionist and start eating better.

Do not go into journalism just because you want to "better yourself." Do what you're best at, not what you're worst at but are most drawn towards. You're going to be bitter and depressed either way - at least you'll have money if you go into engineering like all of your high school friends.

Don't let go of your current friends. Just because you're in different places doesn't mean you can't keep in touch. You'll regret it if you don't.

Dress better. That pair of Kappa ripaways you just bought in Italy? Not as cool as you think. Start with better shoes. High tops were OK in Grade 6 - now, not so much.

Throw out your Mark Morrison and Will Smith CD's. That shit does not age well.

 

You know that Mark Morrison will be back...

 

Return Of The Mack 2010?

 

"This Woodward and Bernstein Watergate stuff is all the shit right now, but 37 years down the road, it won't be. Figure out something else you might be able to do, just in case. You'll find you're better at college than you were at high school, for a lot of reasons but mostly because you can choose not to take math. Quit working at the damn Winn-Dixie, they don't pay you enough and you're wasting being a teenager. Oh, and hold on to the '64 Catalina Super Sport coupe with the 389. You'll miss it later."

 

Enjoy the summers off a lot more than you have been (except when you get pneumonia for two weeks - that will blow). The rest of it will be a blast, and it will be one of the last times you're not worrying about what's coming up next and how you're going to pay for it.

Learn more about football. You'll need that knowledge in college and after. I know you didn't grow up playing it live or as a video game, but sit down with dad and have him teach you the basic schemes. Trust me, it will help.

Don't worry about not being able to afford your first-choice college. The place you end up is much better for you in the long run.

The people in suburban Boston are absolutely as myopic and hypocritical as you think they are. Don't let them tell you otherwise. Ten years later, 80 percent of them will still be living in town and have no idea that the rest of the world doesn't think like them. Continue to not take their shit; it's a good trait.