Advice Needed re: bullying

Not necessarily.

There's safety in numbers. Some kids will see their friend get hit, and get mad and gang up on the other kid.

My advice: Go to the coach (hide a tape recorder on you as well. Sorry, you can't trust people), and, as others have said, see if the coach will give a teamwork speech.

That being said, it's good that the Q's kid is learning karate. But, as someone else said earlier, don't have him going around broadcasting it. You don't want an enemy to know what you know.

 

As a grade-school kid, I was kind and gentle. Give peace a chance, do unto others, etc etc. I was a big teddy bear type.

In seventh grade, I was doing my paper route and two kids who lived a half-mile up the street stopped me. They were a year behind me and went to a different school.

One of the kids was a golden gloves boxer. He had been doing boxing for like five years.

Golden Gloves Boy used my face as a speed bag. For 15-20 minutes. I tried to get away on my bike, and Golden Gloves Boy's little sidekick jammed a stick into the spokes, down I go into the gravel. 15 more minutes of face-beating. After a while, I just curled up on the ground, so they just kicked me and kicked me and kicked me until their feet got sore, I guess. At any rate they eventually went home. 40 years later, my lips are still cracked and swollen as a result and my nose is deviated 10 degrees to the left.

I hobbled home, spitting blood all the way, and threw all my blood-soaked clothes in the laundry, dumping in a double dose of bleach. Mom and Dad and all the other kids were out shopping or something. I stood under a cold shower for 15-20 minutes, went downstairs for a bag of ice, and went to bed. The next morning I got up and got out of the house before anybody saw me, so it was the afternoon before I brought my black-and-blue punching-bag face home.

When the teachers asked me at school what had happened, I told them "I fell off my bike doing my paper route." It wasn't totally a lie, so what the hell. This was in 1970 or so -- today of course they'd call the cops, Social Services and half the western world. But for better or worse, they bought it. My parents had their suspicions.

The next year, Golden Gloves Boy suddenly transfers to my school and shows up at the first football practice. Over the intervening year, he had gotten a little bigger and I had gotten a LOT bigger. The first day in pads, we did the Oklahoma Drill. He was the running back, I was the defensive player. I tossed the blocker aside with two hands like a rag doll and busted Golden Gloves Boy in half. Crushed him face first into the dirt big time. Slammed his helmet in the turf 10 times or so just in case he hadn't gotten the message. The coaches had to pull me off to cool off. GGB didn't get up for probably 30 seconds.

The coach got in my face and said, "Do you know you probably have 100 pounds on that kid?" and I said, "you're goddamn right I know."

He sent me off to the showers and the next morning my parents and I were called in for a meeting. Finally the truth came out. I said to the principal, "You remember a year ago when I was walking around here for about 3 months with my face looking like a pinata? That's why." My dad almost came straight out of his chair (I guess the next time I had gone to the pediatrician after the beating, the doctor had given him him the once-over).

All the teachers DID remember -- my face had been fucked up pretty good for a good eight weeks. As noted, my lips were still swollen a year later.

They called GGB and his parents in. We sat in an adjacent waiting room. After about 15 minutes of heated conversation behind closed doors, my parents and I were called in.

Why had GGB suddenly transferred to my school? Because he had been thrown out of his previous school for fighting, of course.

It was decided to give me a couple days off of school, but GGB was informed he was going to be kept an eye on. We were both informed if there was "any more trouble," it would be on both of us.

Turn the other cheek doesn't work. Bullies will continue until somebody stops them.

 

Great story.

Gotta love GGB's parents that defend him. Even money says the old man was beating his wife and or kid.

 

QT, this is not school sponsored, right? Is it an AAU or "travel" team?

 

That explains much.

 

The fact that Starman's nose points to the left?

 

Qt, I'm saying this even though I'm not a parent -- or a boy. ;D

I think your kid did the right thing. He got a few licks in and let the others know he can defend himself. Honestly, I wouldn't say anything to the coach unless it happens again.

Personally, I think the leg sweep is a great idea. At 12 not looking like an idiot is much more important that getting hurt.

 

For me, martial arts just gave me confidence. I was always a pretty good athlete, but I was average size until I hit my growth spurt at age 14 when I went from 5-7 to 6-1 in a year.

I think part of the reason bullying is such an epidemic these days is because kids are taught they can't fight back. If a kid thinks that picking on your kid might get him punched in the face, they're going to think twice about doing it.

 

Yea but that kid is also taught by his parents that he can sue or have the kid arrested for assault.

 

Don't kick the kid.

One punch. In the nose. Give him no warning.

 

And the kid has a badly broken nose. No, that's not gonna get you sued.