50 Shades of Grey: Not the story of Big Ben's penis

Damn rookies

 

OK, so I'm through the first sexual encounter. My favorite line thus far is, "I don't make love. I fuck. Hard."

This makes sense, as The Writing. Sucks. Hard.

The whole story is beyond ridiculous. So why do my loins tingle?

 

Because you're a mommy. And this is mommy porn.

Duh.

 

Honest to god, that baby thing woke up right when I reached the penis part.

And that kid has not woken up in the middle of the night in months. I felt so dirty. Vagina blocker.

 

Tell YGB to ignore the buzz and go back to sleep.

 

CB, I really want you almost to live-blog the reading of this book.

Also, I just spent well over two hours on that FYA site. Finally, I have found kindred spirits. Ahem.

Back to the mommy porn!

 

Does the climax to the story come at the end of the trilogy?

 

I don't think it was real kinky. I skimmed through a couple of pages of the first book.
Light bondage stuff... Nothing hardcore or SnM.

And the pages I skimmed... The writing was nothing special.

 

That's exactly what I'm going to do. Starting around 8p tonight. What I read last night was so incredibly horrid (yet tingly), it must be shared. No matter how poorly.

 

The SNL skit on this was ok:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/358341/saturday-night-live-amazon-mothers-day-ad#s-p1-sr-i4

 

Well if it is about a 27-year-old billionaire, then obviously Jesse Eisenberg should play that part and Jennifer Lawrence is obviously the college student.

Now, I'm off to turn my Avengers fanfic of Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch into a best-selling trilogy......

 

So...who DOES clean the butt plugs?