5 People You Wish Would Just Go Away

1. Barry Bonds

After that, everything else is gravy.

 

Michael Moore (by a wide margin)
Rosie O'Donnell
Gary Sheffield
Doug Stanhope
Metallica (every last blessed one of 'em)

 

Dick Cheney/George W. Bush/Karl Rove (that's one person, right?)
The freckled 17-year-old who insists on correcting me with "venti" when I order a large coffee at Starbucks.
The fuckwad who canceled Studio 60.
The high school dropout who tries to tell my wife that she needs a new air filter in her car before he even opens up the hood to start changing the oil.
Mike Vick.

 

Con·tra·dic·tion (n):

 

Oh yeah that reminds me.. let me add the following:

The cop who searched my car in Tennessee to the point of telling me how bad my air filter looked when he was done.

The idiots who put the wrong oil in the Rodeo.

Whoever came up with the price for the high mileage oil change.

 

Billy Packer
Dick Vitale
Brent Mushroomburger
Jim "Trecly" Nance
All announcers who say "National Football League" every fucking time instead of "NFL."
Honorable mention: All announcers who use passive voice because it takes up more air time than active voice.

 

1. Door-to-door magazine sellers, whose prices are beyond ripoffs.
2. Chris Berman
3. Lindsey Lohan
4. Slutly Spears
5. Fred Phelps

 

I like how most people so far have posted more than five. I don't know why I do. I just do.

My five:
1. The bodybuilder woman who keeps wanting me to do stories on her every 10th breath I take. Enough with you already!
2. The person who made the decision to make my chain have hiring freezes on a seemingly bi-weekly basis
3. BERRIES AND CREAM BERRIES AND CREAM I'M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES BERRIES AND CREAM
4. Snitsky
5. Ryan Seacrest

 

The Canadian version, Ben Mulroney

 

1. The arrogant principal at our local high school who is just putting in his time toward retirement while the school is going downhill and the best teachers are leaving for other jobs.
2. The developers who keep raping the land and turning it into scorched earth for more new houses and strip malls. Just what we need: more bad haircut and nail places.
3. The local politicians who let those developers run rampant without any regard to the need for more secure and adequate infrastructure as well as more greenspace.
4. People who litter, pollute and waste resources.
5. Arrogant, intolerant people who refuse to listen, open their minds to other ideas and treat people with compassion and respect - from all sides of the political, religious, social and cultural spectrum.

 

1. Nick Saban
2. Every annoying Alabama fan that thinks he's going to win them a national title in this lifetime.
3. Skip Bayless
4. Mike and Mike
5. The entire Spears/Hilton/Lohan group.

I could go on and on and on and on and on.....

 

Can't argue with that list, though given the infrequent appearances by Berman, Simmons and Jerry Rivers, you're batting .600.

My Amended List:
Fred Phelps
Fred Phelps
Fred Phelps
Fred Phelps
Shirley Phelps