2011 Preakness Stakes

Re: 2011 Preakness States

Sadly, the Port A Potty Running of the Morons no longer exists. In fact, those videos going viral probably forced them to change the alcohol policy. So like Uncle Mo at the Derby, that one is an obvious scratch.

Replace it with:

-- Michael Phelps shows up with a date who has a lower back tattoo (3-1)

-- Holy Bull watches a man drink a full beer poured into a woman's ass crack (9-2)

-- Bruno Mars and Train are killed with a nailgun by Felicia "Snoop" Peterson when they ask why they haven't been paid after performing (50-1)

-- Steve Assmussen and Todd Pletcher crack a bunch of hilarious jokes poking fun at themselves at the Alibi Breakfast instead of acting like sourpuss bankers trying to pass a gallstone (1,000-1)

 

Oops. That's probably a sign I ought to pass on betting this race.

 

Animal Kingdom is not getting any of my money at 2-1.

 

I'm hitting the infield just long enough to say I did it, maybe five seconds. That doesn't mean 9-2 isn't still an underlay.

 

Great stuff. But I think 40-to-1 is a steal for No. 8. Hell, those should be single-digit odds!

 

And I'll take all I can get on 2 at 5-1. Surely that number drops to even money or below as we get to Sarturday afternoon.

 

Would've made it lower, but it's contingent on No. 1. An exacta bet would bring in some serious value there.
Personally, I'm with Captain Kirk. No. 2, at 5-1 odds, is like a license to print money. Every office has one, and in some places you could probably parlay it with "Jackoff at Work goes berserk when his horse doesn't win."

 

It's Masturbation Month, so throw out the Jackoff's steam at your own peril.

 

There goes my price on Mucho Macho Man.

 

Greatest hunch bet in horse racing history!

 

I'm sticking w/Dialed In and Midnight Interlude...