14 Rules Of Life (not written by Bill Gates)

The rules below are incorrectly attributed to Bill Gates. Although I normally don't like to facilitate internet myths, I do think whoever put these together did a nice job. Not only are the rules both funny and poignant, they are long overdue being said.


Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

 

Re: 15 Rules Of Life (not written by Bill Gates)

1. Where's 15?
2. No. 8 is my favorite.

 

I can't count.

There are only 14.

Do I get a trophy despite my inability to count?

 

Ugh. That reminds me of a trophy one of my former SEs used to have. It was an old karate trophy, but he called it the "Kick in the head" trophy. Anytime someone did something stupid, he put the trophy on your desk.

 

Then go ahead and drop it by.

Hey. . . free trophy.

 

Car phone?? How old is this list?

 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.


Probably mid-90's since 10 seems like a Friends reference.

 

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

Screw that. The 48 Laws of Power are where it's at. A sampling:

Law 7: Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Law 11: Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

Law 21: Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

http://www2.tech.purdue.edu/cg/Courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm