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10 Most Annoying Things People Do on the Golf Course.

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by JR, Apr 21, 2008.

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  1. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Cellphones are No. 1 and there's not a close second. If you're that important that you can't turn it off for four hours (and that's OFF, not vibrate), stay home or at work.
     
    playthrough, Apr 21, 2008
    #37
  2. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    I left mine on vibrate last summer when MrsExpendable was midway through her eighth month. Other than that, I agree completely.
     
    expendable, Apr 21, 2008
    #38
  3. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Actually, another Wahoo - dudes were lawyers who worked in the same office before one of them got religion and went into public service.
     
    Moderator1, Apr 21, 2008
    #39
  4. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    Warm beer and fat chicks.
     
    three_bags_full, Apr 21, 2008
    #40
  5. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Speaking of colleges and golf, when we get to golf jokes let me know. I heard a great one from a college assistant at a recruiting/fan function.
     
    Moderator1, Apr 21, 2008
    #41
  6. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    You're King Moddy.

    You can threadjack any place, any time. :)
     
    JR, Apr 21, 2008
    #42
  7. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    That's fair. But what if you had a career-best round going on the 17th fairway and she was calling to tell you to leave?

    (kidding...sort of)
     
    playthrough, Apr 21, 2008
    #43
  8. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Yes, but I'm trying to be considerate.

    Also - keep your stories short ON the course. Quick hitters, quick jokes. Save the longer stuff for when you are settling up at the 19th.
     
    Moderator1, Apr 21, 2008
    #44
  9. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    A women's basketball assistant from Virginia Tech told this one, so I'll leave the punch line the same. Wahoos, don't be offended. Sub in Tech. You can use any schools you want.

    A Virginia Tech fan, a VCU fan and a Virginia fan are out on the course.
    Sadly, they come upon a dead woman near the fifth green. She's nude.
    One guy takes out his cell phone, turns it ON because of course it was off, and calls police.
    They're uncomfortable waiting so the Tech fan takes his hat and covers one breast. The VCU fan covers another breast. The Virginia fan uses his hat to cover her more private area.

    Finally the police come and start their work. One cop, though, keeps lifting the Virginia hat. He does it, he does it again, he does it AGAIN.

    One of the golfers loses it. ''WHAT ARE YOU, A PERVERT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT."

    The policeman apologizes profusely, says he understands it is giving the wrong impression but it isn't what it seems.
    What is it then, the golfer asks?

    "Well," the cop says, "every other time I've seen one of those hats, there's been an asshole under it."
     
    Moderator1, Apr 21, 2008
    #45
  10. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    Slow play cannot be the problem. Maybe slower play.

    Golf, by definition, is slow play.
     
    BTExpress, Apr 21, 2008
    #46
  11. JBHawkEye

    JBHawkEye Well-Known Member

    Yes. Tired of the movie quotes. In some cases, the line wasn't even funny the first time.

    I play at a lot of the small-town public courses around here. Nice courses, fairly inexpensive. The one thing I don't like are the season-pass holders and the regulars who think they own the place. If they don't know you, they don't let you play through, and they try to hurry you along if you're playing in front of them, even if you're playing at a good pace.

    Oh, and at the small-town courses you'll always run into the fivesome that doesn't let you play through. And usually all five guys are 70 years old or older.

    I was at one course in the area a few summers ago where we ran into a sevensome. Not just seven guys playing together, but seven guys in seven carts. Of course, my friend and I were the only other players on the course, and the sevensome did let us play through. But it was funny to watch the seven carts rolling up the fairway, almost in formation.
     
    JBHawkEye, Apr 21, 2008
    #47
  12. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    I used to belong to a small country club near the house that went "semi-private" because it wasn't making money. You could pay to play golf (pool and dining room were still private, big whoop).
    Anyway, I'm headed to the tee one day when I hear this guy in front of us say, "We need to get up there and tee off before the members. They act like they own the place."

    Uh, sir? We do.
    Go ahead and tee off. Please.
    But we DO own the course.

    I didn't for much longer. Figured it was cheaper to just pay and then eat somewhere else.
     
    Moderator1, Apr 21, 2008
    #48
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