Dear dimwit on the phone

One of the in-state schools had a game on a premium channel, so we ran a story to explain all the different channels it was on depending on your cable service. Some guy read the story, went to the channel of his cable provider, was surprised to see nothing there, so he called to ask us what channel it was on.

Still doesn't beat the guy who called us to ask why his cable TV wasn't working.

 

I'd like to. But people who think I'm suddenly gonna start covering JV because one of their spawn is on the team aren't worth the hassle.

 

Had someone call in last night 30 minutes before deadline to find out what the score of the WNBA game was.

 

Not everyone familiar with the concept of the Ryder Cup.

"Who won the Ryder Cup?"
"Europe."
"The guy's name is Europe? Never heard of him. Where's he from?"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsLztPDZVbA

Lt. Frank Drebin: Hector Savage. From Detroit. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago.
Ed Hocken: Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.
Nordberg: I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati.
Lt. Frank Drebin: No you're thinking of Kid New York. He fought out of Philly.
Ed Hocken: He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin.
Nordberg: Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember it was North or South.
Lt. Frank Drebin: North. South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.
Ed Hocken: You sure know your boxing.
Lt. Frank Drebin: All I know is never bet on the white guy.
[Nordberg nods in agreement]

 

Nice pull.

 

I always liked the story reported in Sports Illustrated's Scorecard during the Calgary Olympics: As you may remember, a lot of skiing events were delayed because the unseasonably warmer weather in the city made the snow too slushy to compete on.

The story goes that a desker at a major US paper took a call from a person asking who won the downhill that day. The desker replied "It was called off." The caller then said "Ah, OK. Well, who finished second and third?" The desker said the caller must have thought he said it was won by a Russian skier named Kaldov.

 

It's like the one I heard years ago about a paper that asked AP to send it a special bulletin on the finish of the Indy 500. The term for this was overheading. AP sent a message back "Will overhead 500 winner." Next day's banner headline? "Overhead wins 500-mile race."

 

Had a situation last year when a guy called the office asking what channel the NFL Network was on. I told him 1425 but he must of heard 1625. 20 minutes later he called back pissed off that sent him to the XXX channels on purpose.

 

Someone in my office once took a call from a guy who was upset because we listed TV stations he didn't have and he wanted us to stop doing that.

Another caller wanted us to stop running stories about an entire professional sports league just because he didn't like that league.

 

WNBA?

 

Reminds me of a few years back when a softball team had to forfeit a bunch of wins after an ineligible player was discovered. Section still let them participate in the playoffs. Day after their first game, call comes in: "How can you run a big picture of that team? You shouldn't cover them. They cheated!"