Zeke has no idea why he killed a hobo tonight: Henley joins Billy Joel @ Shea

Re: Zeke has no idea why he killed a hobo tonight: Henley joins Billy Joel @ She

They haven't had Billy Joel do the Super Bowl halftime show yet have they? I'd think he'd be a natural, but like the Beach Boys, three songs just isn't going to cut it so why bother. The Who and Sir Paul, and Steven Tyler and Garth Brooks. That would have been sweet.
Hell, The Who at the Superbowl would be cool, but since its at Tampa they should just give it to Jimmy Buffett

 

I've been saying Billy should play the halftime show for years, Dan.

Maybe this year. After all, he'll have his concert film to promote. It's the only place I'll get to see him play with McCartney MOTHERFUCKERSHIT!!!!!

 

You're on a shit kick tonight.

 

I will not watch the Super Bowl if that happens.

 

BULLSHIT.

 

I've never seen you, BYH. But in my mind, you're wearing a stained, white T-shirt -- a spaghetti stain, not ketchup, below the collar -- that hasn't been washed since you went to the Flock of Seagulls reunion show in 1993, and you're holding your wife's hand, dragging her through the town's same four record shops every Saturday morning, half an erection hidden behind your shirt as you look for original Billy Idol vinyls.

While that poor, poor lady breaks free for a few seconds to look for music she's not embarrassed to be found looking through, she's startled by a seemingly endless stream of obscenities screamed at the top of your lungs. Then she starts running toward you to cover your mouth, but halfway there, she knows it's too late: "It's here. It's here. They've actually got INXS's 'Shabooh, Shabooh. They've got INXS's 'Shabooh, Shabooh." Since she can't stop what's already been done, she retreats, cutting her losses, and decides to just meet you at home.

There, she sits and sits, half hoping you catch a glimpse of something shiny, forget about her and never come back, half hoping ... well, that's the thing: She's really lost all hope, and not just for you; for her, too. She's also defeated, thus losing all confidence in herself. She's convinced she can never do better because of the stain you laid upon her -- not the spaghetti stain -- and its mark can never be removed. Forever, she'll be branded as a haven for the ... "special" ... and never be accepted back in the normal sect of society.

Her mind then wanders. She thinks of a time when things were good. 1993, perhaps. She was on top of the world, had everyone and all her dreams at her finger tips. There wasn't a problem in the world. She had fantasies about being a lawyer, then a judge, maybe run for a higher office. Why not? Nothing was going to hold her back. She was 19, beautiful, full of life, energy and always motivated for greater things. She begins to smile at those thoughts, the first honest smile in more years than she can remember.

Then the apartment door opens, and she turns her head to look. And there you stand, wearing the same spaghetti-stained, white T-shirt and holding shopping bags filled to the top with old vinyls, L.A. Gear high tops -- the ones with the built-in basketball pumps -- slap bracelets and a Lite-Brite, declaring, "Tonight, it's party time."

And she begins to cry. Again.

That's how I envision you when I read your posts.

 

That. Was. AWESOME.

BYH, Mikey just put you in your place. You are now overflowing with fail. Overflowing like your wife's tears.

 

Re: Zeke has no idea why he killed a hobo tonight: Henley joins Billy Joel @ She

The stain directs your attention away from the moobs, Mikey.



It's an accessory. Like a rattail.

 

That was perhaps the most effective putdown in SportsJournalists.com history. BYH just got pwned by Mikey.

 

You sure we're not talking about fake_handle's ex?

 

ZING!

What has BYH ever done to Mikey? Whatever it was, BYH is now officially Mikey's bitch.

 

Damn.

Excellent work, Mikey.