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You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine - UPDATED !!!

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Lugnuts, Jan 31, 2007.

  1. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    At the age of 14, my niece lost her father to a heart attack. She's 18 now and about to enter college. This kid is a super-achiever (not to mention a stunningly beautiful young lady -- in the ballpark of Elin Woods). When the tragedy happened, she dug in, worked even harder and will graduate at or near the top of her class at a large public high school in a big city. She has taken on many family burdens, including keeping tabs on her older brother and worrying about finances, which no teenager should have to do.

    Her SATs were not great -- but she took it 3 times -- and raised her score every time.

    Ever since her dad died, Mr. Lugs and I have upped the presence in her life (we were always close anyway.)

    So when it came time to apply to colleges, we helped her with the application process.

    Mr. Lugs is an alum of a very good public school in the state where she lives-- on the level of say, the University of Michigan. So Mr. Lugs writes a letter on her behalf which would bring a tear to even the most cynical among you. We sculpted and culled this letter for a week, fought over it (he was offended by my editing), and finally came up with something that truly captured what my niece has been through, how she dealt with it, and the strong, special person she is.

    Then we worked with her for weeks on the essays for "Michigan"-- the three of us coming up with, in my mind, some brilliant twists.

    After a week of me pacing the floor over whether or not she should apply early decision-- we decide to go for it.

    Side note: As a safety, she applies to...... let's call it "Michigan State." A perfectly fine institution, but not ranked anywhere near "Michigan."

    As we nervously await word, Mr. Lugs declares that if his alma mater does not accept our niece, he will no longer be able to root for "the Wolverines" in any sport.

    Then, a couple of weeks ago-- she gets the news-- she's been accepted to "Michigan" - Yaaaaay !!!! (Incidentally, on the same day, she was accepted to "Michigan State.")

    Here's the problem: Now she's making noise like she's going to "Michigan State."

    AAAAaaaaggghhhhhhh.

    What's her reasoning?
    1) All the snobs at school who got accepted were wearing their "GO BLUE" crap the day after they got in, and she was put off by that.
    2) Her best friend, who's been there for her the past few years, will attend "State."
    3) We all want her (mom included) to go to "Michigan," therefore, she wants to do the opposite.

    Bottom line: She's shown such grace and maturity these past few years, we all sort of forgot -- she's still a typical teenager in a lot of ways.

    So now what do I do?
     
  2. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    Let her go to 'State.'

    It's undergrad and that really shouldn't matter too much. Her true friend will be there, too. You can't go wrong with true friends.

    And invite her over to watch the big game every year. You wear Blue, she wears Green and the loser does the dishes.
     
  3. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    Reason 4: p0wned by Ohio State in football every year

    Anyone who wants nothing to do with the U of M sounds like they have all their marbles and then some. Do nothing.
     
  4. SF_Express

    SF_Express Active Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    If you want to make one pitch as to why she should go to "Michigan," I think that's OK.

    Once that's done, it's her call, her life, her college experience, and you just have to support her.
     
  5. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    Well doesn't early decision bind her to that school?

    Likewise, point out the benefits of going to the top school. For a while I kind of shrugged off Maryland because it's what my parents kept talking about and I wanted to do things on my own. Of course I eventually figured out Maryland's journalism school was pretty darned good, and going to serve me better than any of the other places that put together fancy sounding pamphlets that had me going for a bit.

    So you have to let her make her own decision, but make sure she has all the information and make sure she understands why it's relevant for her.
     
  6. Frank_Ridgeway

    Frank_Ridgeway Well-Known Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    Different people have different opinions about what my niece should do. She is highly intelligent, save for the fact that she wants to be a journalist. My role has been to buy college guides the past two Christmases, which her mom says she devours, same as her uncle at that age. She and her mom will fly here this summer and look at some schools before her junior year. I will drive them around, maybe show them a place or two that weren't in the plans. But I respect her maturity and intelligence, and the choice should be hers alone. I will attempt to hide the fact that I hope she chooses a school near me. The fact that she is a delight to be around should not enter into how I help, she should do what she feels is best for her.
     
  7. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    You talk her out of her choice *** well, just don't. If she is as you describe, which I'm sure she is, she'll do fine.
     
  8. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine


    Luggie,

    You should be proud of your niece and roll your eyes behind her back at her choice. College is what you make of it anyway, and sounds like she will make the most.
     
  9. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    That said, I know from experience I can get away with conversations with my nephew who is close to that age that his parents can't. His parents can say the same things, but he tunes them out because they're his parents. I'm his cool uncle. :)

    If it was my nephew, I'd tell him: 1) You have to trust my experience on this, but Michigan is a better choice than Michigan State. Going to State isn't the end of the world, but all things being equal, you should go to the best school you can get into. It's a competive world, and Michigan alums on the whole have an easier time getting to where they want to be than Michigan State alums. And that's a major purpose of college. 2) It's hard to believe this is true right now, but best H.S. friends nearly always disappear in college and your best friends become your college friends. This will probably happen even if you go to the same place as your friend. You shouldn't make a decision as important as a college choice, based on where your H.S. friend is going. 3) I know you were put off by the snobs in your H.S., but Michigan has a large student body. I'd tell you not to go there if everyone at Michigan was like that, but if you go there, there will be a lot of people just like you to befriend. That's one of the things that makes it so desirable. You can befriend the cool people and ignore the people you don't like. There's something there for everyone.

    I'd lay that all on him, and if it looked like he was tuning me out, I'd slap him upside the head.
     
  10. aunt jemima

    aunt jemima New Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

    Lugs,

    I tried to send you a PM, but I'm not sure I got it to you. Am having sign-in issues, so I had to register under a new name. If you didn't get it, let me know and I'll try again.

    The Poster Who Normally Goes by Montezuma's Revenge
     
  11. 2muchcoffeeman

    2muchcoffeeman Active Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

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  12. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine


    You guys don't understand... ;D

    How many of us thought our high school friends were "it"? And that high school was "it"?

    Then you get to college right??

    I don't want her to make a big mistake based on a friend who she'll probably hate by sophomore year.

    This is a top, top college. She'd have a national degree, kwim?

    Call me a "stage aunt," but it kills me to see her blow such a great opportunity.

    Here's the topper: "Michigan" will meet 100% of her financial aid. "State" will only meet 80%.

    It just doesn't make SENSE! :(
     
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