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Youth football shame

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Perry White, Nov 4, 2006.

  1. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    The two teams should have rented a HS field for a day, gotten an insurance agent to write a one-day policy, hired a couple of refs, played the game, and told Dan Hinkle to go fuck himself. :D :D

    Reading the story, I just don't get it:

    a) Why didn't Dan Hinkle just coach the team himself? I've seen youth sports league commissioners coach the team their kids are on, it happens all the time. Then, you can play the kid any position you want.

    b) Why the hell is he hell-bent on insisting the kid must play every single snap on DEFENSE? Nobody gives a shit who plays defense in 7th-8th grade games -- if you're worth half a crap, you play OFFENSE, and you play a lot of it. Hell, if you're going to be an overbearing sports dad, go all the way and install Junior at quarterback. Give him the damn ball!! Boo-yah!!
  2. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    This of course reminds me of The Simpsons episode where Homer coached Bart's team. (Yeah yeah we have a thread for Simpsons quotes TOO BAD!!! :D :D )

    "Good practice, kids. Now its time for the easiest part of any coach's job. The cuts. Although I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a lot of you. Wendell is cut. Rudy is cut. Janey, you're gone. Steven, I like your hustle [Steven smiles]. Thats why it was so hard to cut you [Steven's smile drops]. Congratulations, the rest of you made the team!
    [random sighs of relief] Except you, you and you."

    Martin: Bart didn't get cut. What a surprise.
    Homer: Now, just because I'm his father, he will get no special treatment. He calls me coach just like everyone else. Which he'll be doing, as our new starting quarterback!

    Bart: Its gonna take a miracle for me to become a good quarterback!
    Joe Namath: Excuse me, son.
    Bart: Wow! Joe Namath!
    Joe Namath: Thats right. My car broke down in front of your house.
    Bart: I cannot believe you are here! Do you think maybe you could give me some pointers?
    Joe Namath: Sure! Theres only one thing you need to know to be a great quarterback.
    Mrs Namath: Joe, honey , I fixed it! It was just vapor lock!
    Joe Namath: OK, look, I've gotta run. Remember what I told you!

    Homer in the credits: "Scully, you're cut. Brooks, Groening, Simon, you're all cut. Castellaneta, gone. Kavner, cut. Cartwright, cut. Smith, sorry, cut. Azaria, Shearer, you're cut. Firestone, you're cut. So is Judge. Namath, you stay. All of
    those people are cut. Johnson, Wolfe and Silverman are all cut. Goldfire, O'Brien gone. Cut, Elliot, I don't know what you're doing here because you're all cut. Pietela, Kuwahaha. Theres so many cuts here, look, I'll just post them up and you see where your name is. Look how many cuts there are there. Woah boy! You're cut. All of you! You're cut. I cut you!
    [Gracie Films logo, "shhhhh"] You're cut too, shusshy!"
  3. Walter_Sobchak

    Walter_Sobchak Active Member

    You forgot the two best ones!

    Homer: Ah, I'm telling you. Flanders can't coach at all. I'm not the type to have a grudge for no reason--
    [the camera cuts to a radio studio, where Roy Firestone is sat with Sandy Koufax.]
    Roy: [he is on the radio] Sir, can I just break in for a moment?
    Homer: [impatient] Yes, Roy.
    Roy: Do you have a question for Sandy Koufax?
    Homer: Yes. Mr. Koufax, don't you think Flanders is a big jerk?
    [Roy hangs up, leaving Homer the dreaded dial tone.]
    Homer: Yellow? Yellow?
    [redials radio number]
    Homer: Yeah, Homer again. I think we got cut off.
    [dial tone]

    Marge: It's easy to criticize...
    Homer: Fun, too!
  4. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    ahahahaha!! This was my favorite exchange:

    Bart: May I be excused, mom?
    Homer: Oh, so now you're quitting dinner, too.
    Marge: Homer, please.
    Homer: I didn't raise him to be a quitter. It must have been you. You quit every job you've ever had. Cop, pretzel vender, church counselor, professional gambler.
    Marge: He's doing what he thinks is best.
    Homer: Well, if quitting is the best, maybe I should just quit my job!
    [Homer walks over to the phone and dials Mr. Burns' number.]
    Mr Burns: Ahoy hoy?
    Homer: Mr Burns? This is Homer J Simpson, the father of the big quitter! Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter, too! And I quit! [Homer winks twice.]
    Marge: Homer, Mr Burns can't see you winking.
    Homer: So-- [screams, hangs up phone.]

    Quit being a professional gambler...freakin hilarious.
  5. Mystery_Meat

    Mystery_Meat Guest

    I'm convinced there's a Matt Groening show quote for every possible event in life.
  6. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Youth sports parents are the worst thing we have going in America. Their entitlement-style attitudes are emblematic of some of the US and A's major issues.
  7. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    We're the United States and America now?

    (edit: I just had Best Week Ever on and Borat said US and A. So apparently you're just retarded. :) )
  8. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    And you're a silver-spoon fed douchebox! :D
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