You're not getting Alex Rios' autograph

I don't blame any athlete for declining to sign occasionally.

The heckler was a douchebag. Seriously, who does that?

But the real loser here is Rios. Don't unleash a slew of f-bombs in front of kids. Just don't. Grow up.

 

But do you still have the card?

 

You're still alive -- you have the ultimate last laugh.

 

Hell fucking yeah. I was meticilous (sp?) about preserving my autographed cards in a binder as a kid and my Mom was always great about never throwing any of them away (having heard all the cautionary tales about how many men from her generation lost thousands of dollars when their Mickey Mantle rookies were chucked). The album in which I have the Glavine card has accompanied me on most of my moves since I moved out of my parents' house.

What is still in my parents' house, tucked safely (I hope) in my bedroom closet, is the baseball I have autographed by two ex-Braves: Eddie Mathews and Phil Niekro. (Buckweaver's girlfriend just slipped on the giant puddle of drool coming from his mouth)

I saw Niekro signing and went over with a fresh baseball, figuring it would be cool to have a future HOFer sign a baseball. And then I saw Mathews (a spring training instructor at that point, I think) signing, knew he was already a HOFer and got him on the same ball. And even at 15, I was smart enough to make sure nobody else signed it...even Albert Hall.

 

Wait, are you trying to tell me my Carlos Delgado-signed scorecard from 1992 isn't worth as much because Rob Butler and Randy Knorr are on it, too?

 

You know, I get that, but he was in the stands. He wasn't on the field. He was sitting in the stands. That's as good as an open invitation for autograph seekers, whether he's having a private conversation or not. If he's not sitting there -- and this wasn't the front row; he was sitting halfway up the lower section -- if he's not sitting there, my parents don't make the suggestion. And, I was freakin' nine years old. So I'm sticking with him being an asshole.

 

No.

It's not worth as much b/c it's got that quitting dog Delgado's signature. *ducking and running*

 

<i>"I saw Niekro signing and went over with a fresh baseball, figuring it would be cool to have a future HOFer sign a baseball. And then I saw Mathews (a spring training instructor at that point, I think) signing, knew he was already a HOFer and got him on the same ball. And even at 15, I was smart enough to make sure nobody else signed it...even Albert Hall.</i>

Along those lines, a buddy of mine got Hank Aaron to sign a ball back around 1973, figuring, naturally, that he was a sure shot Hall of Famer and on course to become the all-time home run leader. He proudly gave the ball to his little brother.

Some members of the local team were making an appearance at a mall, so little brother did the logical thing and took his baseball to get more autographs. End result: Alongside Hank Aaron's signature, he also got autographs from a couple of lesser lights from the local team <b>AND</b> a couple of egomaniacal DJs from the radio station sponsoring the appearance. From treasure to trash in no time.

 

I read that the County Stadium groundskeeper who ended up with the ball from Home Run No. 755 showed up at an Aaron autograph signing, waited in line, had Aaron sign the ball (Aaron didn't recognize him or maybe even know who he was at all) and the guy walked out, whistling a happy tune.

Apparently, and who knows if it's true, the Brewers had demanded the guy simply up the ball after he caught it and fired him when he refused. I don't know what the guy had wanted in exchange, if anything. In later years, Aaron made overtures to the guy and offered somewhere in the neighbourhood of six figures for the ball - he was turned down every time. And that was before the surreptitious signing episode.

EDIT: Okay, I found stories where the ex-groundskeeper simply wanted to present the ball to Aaron in person and the Brewers said no. He went home with the ball and they fired him for removing club property from the stadium. Then they docked $5 from his final pay to cover the cost of the ball!!

He eventually sold the ball at auction for $650,000 and pocketed $461,700, donating more than $150,000 to a charitable foundation for children at Aaron's request. That's a nice ending.....and a hell of a severance package more than 30 years after the fact!!

 

I was at the NHL draft combine a couple of weeks back at a hotel by the Toronto airport.

As I was waiting at a light to catch a lift home I saw the Bruins' scouts walking down the street on the way to the Marriott. They were being trailed by some no-life loosers trying to dig out cards to get signed, but the guy they wanted, Cam Neely, was motoring so far ahead of the rest of the pack they would have needed a moped to catch him. He's still pretty agile for a big - and I mean, big - man. The loosers settled for someone I didn't recognize.

 

Ron Gant never really panned out? He was a two-time All-Star, had back-to-back 30/30 seasons and hit 321 career home runs! Sure he was no Glavine, but it's not like he was Mike Kelly, either ...