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Your strangest relative...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Mizzougrad96, Nov 19, 2012.

  1. dixiehack

    dixiehack Well-Known Member

    I do have a cousin that drifts in and out of prison in Pennsylvania. We should have known something was up when he was 6 or 7 and set fire to the bed while his grandmother (not from our family) was in it.

    I'm still going with my uncle who married into the family. Not every day you see a pot-smoking Seventh Day Adventist house painter who holds his goatee in place with rubber bands and leaves his used pipe tobacco in other people's sinks. Remarkably my cousin came out perfectly normal except for being a diehard Bengals fan.
     
  2. HejiraHenry

    HejiraHenry Well-Known Member

    Oh, it's me, hands down.
     
  3. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty New Member

    enjoyed reading that. can't believe i didn't post a single time on that thread ... think that was my first year away from my family, and i was feeling sorry for myself. i also miss write-brained and angola around here.
     
  4. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    I just got home from taking my Aunt Sandi to her doctor's appointment. We had a conversation about embarrassing moments with our kids. She told me a story involving her Ben Wa balls and her daughter. I don't want to mention the details. It was all too horrifying.
     
  5. waterytart

    waterytart Active Member

    lono might be better able to select my strangest relative than I am. I grew up in one of those Southern families where eccentricity was proof of good breeding. Now that everyone lives in the real world, we're much less interesting.
     
  6. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    I have a few to choose from, but here's a classic:

    My dad's cousin, his wife and their son came to visit once. While we were eating dinner, their son -- probably about 12 -- said loudly "Mom, do you remember when you were in the mental hospital?"

    His father pounded the table and screamed "ERIC, YOU PROMISED!!!"
     
  7. farmerjerome

    farmerjerome Active Member

    Dr. J and I are the strangest, hands down. But we function.

    My sister-in-law, however, is a disaster. She has three children by three different fathers, and left the only good man she's ever had to be with baby daddy No. 3, who was so stoned all the time I couldn't understand a word she said.
    Let's see, I think she got arrested a bunch of times in college, would sell all the gifts Dr. J's family got her and the kids for cash (and cashed in their life insurance). Oh, and one of her douchebag boyfriends' apartments got busted in a huge drug raid. She's a compulsive liar, but also a terrible liar.
    The other sister-in-law looks like she has it all together from the outside, but is the biggest piece of shit I've ever met. Without going into obsessive details, she makes a combined 100K with her husband but gambles it all away so her name is always in the paper for unpaid taxes. When Dr. J's grandparents died she neglected to tell him that the county took their house (they live on the same street) until he was giving my brother-in-law a ride home from work one day.

    The strangest person though? My father-in-law. Not his fault though. He had surgery on his eye in the 50s and the doctor made a mistake. Now he's bat shit crazy, and is getting worse with age. He's a hoarder and is obsessed with numbers and dates, such as he constantly repeats that he met both of his wives in May and they both died in October. He's also calculated, down to hour, how old his parents were when they died to see who was technically older. When his dad died, he asked the funeral director what happens to his hospital gown, and do we have to pay for it.
    You can see him around our town walking -- despite ulcers on his feet -- but he has a car that's fully paid for. He doesn't like it, so he refuses to drive it. But if he did, he'd drive it to the supermarket, where he reads every newspaper. Doesn't buy it though. Just reads it and puts it back.

    This my friends, is the down fall of our industry. Not the intrawebs. He used to buy them until he ran out of money. Because if you saw his house that's where you can find back issues of any newspaper dating to god knows when. If a fire ever broke out the place would go up in a second. You'd think a grown man would know that. You know -- especially since it's happened before.

    Happy Thanksgiving!
     
  8. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    This description works for me. I am maybe the most competent person in my family, but I also definitely am the weirdest and goofiest. (I know this is stunning news for everyone here.) As a teen, I always felt ostracized by my family because of that. Now I've adjusted better.
     
  9. SpeedTchr

    SpeedTchr Well-Known Member

    [​IMG]

    Dafuq?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  10. Bodie_Broadus

    Bodie_Broadus Active Member

    There are about 35 guys I work with that do that.
     
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