Your first time

I do, but it was on a previous handle that might out me.

 

My first was to post an opening about a copy editor position at the New York (Post?)

It's no longer in the archives.

 

Oh, that EE. Nope, not his daughter -- or granddaughter, even. He may have been her Godfather, though. I'm not certain.

 

There's absolutely no correlation between our two exercises in futility...other than leaving a woman dissatisfied. (High-five!)

Case in point:

You cared about your girlfriend. I didn't have the decency to ask this slut her name.

I didn't last through a terrible Master P song. You claim 31 minutes.

For some reason, I stuck my thumb in her vagina when I was done. You may or may not have.

Most importantly, I closed the entire deal -- including falling asleep -- in less than 20 minutes. It took you 13 months and change...plus money. :-*

 

You just can't make that shit up.

 

Wow, just wow.

 

I was hoping you'd pick up on that.

And though it took a while to pry open that girl's legs, I did fuck this one girl on New Year's a few years ago, and that's a way better story -- but I'll leave it for another day and place. Anyway, I knew her first name, but had no idea anything other than she was easy and had a name. The next afternoon, I reach into my pocket and pull out this piece of paper with a full name and a number I didn't know -- with an area code I didn't know existed. I thought about it for a minute and said, "Oh, Rachel has a last name, too? Neat."

 

And no. I've never put a thumb in a love tunnel.

 

This may be the funniest sentence I've ever read.

Mike, I wish you hadn't spent more than 45 days on the active roster last year. I really do.

 

Which is it?

 

PO, it's like this, man:

 

I have no idea why this made me laugh, but it did...out loud.

And Flash, I don't believe you're a girl (nah...i'm just stirrin' up shit, I was there that night)