Your dream assignment

"My round at Augusta National....

... as a Member."

 

OK, here's mine: Two months on the ARCA circuit as a driver. I've always wanted to do some George Plimpton-type field reporting, but I'm definitely not athletic enough to be competent in any normal sport. ARCA's more about the cars, anyway. And I think the culture surrounding it is fascinating. I've covered a few ARCA races, and the culture is a mix of young kids with bright eyes, veteran good ol' boys and hard-luck part-timers who are dying for a break. It could make for an awesome book, particularly if I did it for a full season. But it could be a great magazine article either way.

 

I'd like to shadow Billy Payne for the two months leading up to the Masters.

-- Karen Crouse

 

There's a football program I'd love a shot at bringing down. I know its dirty and I know they cheat, but it would be fun to have the time and the resources to try to prove it.

 

To be embedded in one of freqposter's intrigues. And Lgnuts, if you became a member at Augusta, your round would b more than one person's dream assignment

 

High school baseball, Clear Spring vs. Southern Fulton. In a rare night game in Hagerstown, Md. With an 11 p.m. deadline.

 

If I had a time machine? Ali-Frazier I.

But since I don't have a time machine, I'd go the fanboi route and pick writing about my college winning a national championship.

 

Sex with Chris Jones.

::ducking::



If there were a trans-Siberian "Cannonball Run" style race, that would most likely be it. Or maybe two months watching kids play baseball in the Haitian bateyes outside Santo Domingo. Or pick a country like Tajikistan or Mongolia and take in all I can about the sports culture.

 

My dream assignment has been mentioned here. Twice.

Without a doubt, it'd be the two month study of the WWE leading up to WrestleMania. But I would want to write multiple stories and I would want to do it for a publication that would be big enough that it could allow me the time, money and effort to it. I'm thinking Entertainment Weekly leading up to WrestleMania 30 but, let's be honest, the only way I could get the access and space I would need is to do it for WWE Magazine.

So let's pretend, for a second, that Vince McMahon would give me what I needed. The pitch would be simple. WWE has been one of the highest-rated programs on television for years. This assignment would be the cover-story of a special section dedicated strictly to WrestleMania and its immediate aftermath and would focus of the different pieces that go into the production of the company's biggest event of the year.

I would want to profile McMahon himself (Why is he still involved with this? How much control does he exert over day-to-day operations?) and do a separate story just detailing the high-level people involved with the creative process (When do they come up with the ideas, how do they develop them, what do they change as they go along, etc.)

From there, I'd do standalone sidebars on the people you never hear about. I'd profile the person who cuts together the video promos used to hype the matches. I'd profile the makeup and costume departments. I'd profile Jim Johnson, the legendary music producer responsible for all the themes you've ever heard. Hell, I'd do a profile of the crew that sets up the ring and the truck drives who haul that shit cross-country.

Then I'd focus on the superstars. I'd do a big profile on the two guys in the main event (How'd they get into wrestling, what's the preparation like?) focusing especially on how they write the match and decide what's going to happen.

After that, I'd focus on the young up-and-comer (Cody Rhodes or Sheamus) and what WrestleMania means to them, how they prepare, etc. Then I'd do a story on the old veteran and see how he prepares for a WrestleMania after he's been involved in countless big moments.

After that, I'd profile the Divas and chronicle how they've evolved and what they view their role to be on the show. Are they eye candy or legit wrestlers? Do they care?

From there, I'd profile the guy who missed the cut for WrestleMania and do a long story on how and why he got cut and how that makes him feel considering there's probably a lot of crap that's not needed on the card. I'd include a lot of quotes from other superstars who were cut from Mania in past years as well.

Finally, I'd profile the refs and announcers and do stories on their roles in the show and wrap it up with a look into WWE marketing and how they plan for WrestleMania, execute it, and react.

It would be the single-greatest thing I could ever write and I would immediately leave the industry forever because there would be absolutely, positively, nowhere else for me to go from there.

 

Two chicks at the same time.

Wait..

 

I would so read that!

 

I'd like to cover an entire season of the Dominican Winter League.