You should be ashamed ...

--- if you're over 5 and bring ketchup or mayo anywhere near a hot dog.

 

You gotta be fucking kidd-- wait, um, never mind. :

 

Pepsi's not shallow.
Fanta is shallow.

 

I love how the girl is the only sane one in the picture. What a shot.
[/quote]

... if you're an adult and you walk around with your fucking underwear sticking out of your pants.

For that matter, if you're over the age of 5.

 

...if you tell people what they should and shouldn't be ashamed of.

BTW, the pic looks photoshopped.

 

Host a sports talk show using a nickname.

Use the opportunity of the National Anthem to grab a beer or hit the restrooms.

Plumb-bob a putt for anything over a bogie.

 

. . . If you take joy in ratting out coaches to their college for not calling in an exhibition basketball score, thus levying a $250 fine on them.

 

What about in your house or at a buddy's house while watching the game on TV? That's gotta be acceptable. Just has to.

 

I've only done it once since I became an adult. It was for a game in which a star was going for a milestone home run which would have been worth big bucks to whoever was lucky enough to catch it.

My cousins, who met me at the game, looked at me like I was nuts. I rationalized that if I had a chance at thousands of dollars, I better improve my chances any way I could.

Star ended up hitting the milestone the next game, and what pissed me off the most was all the people who were coming into our section whenever the guy came to the plate. It's like the ushers decided to take five minutes off every three innings.

 

...You dress from head to toe in the colors of a college football team, yet you didn't even go to that college.
...Your lazy ass throws your cigarette butts out the window of your car, as if they're magically not going to gather by the thousands at the curbs of every intersection.

 

And I was feeling bad about getting close to 30K.

 

Nah, we're pathetic, too, just not as much so.