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"You kept making all the stops?" "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Perry White, Oct 30, 2006.

  1. Perry White

    Perry White Active Member

    http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/florida/orl-asecbusted30103006oct30,0,2754948.story?coll=sfla-news-florida (via The Obscure Store)

    Ritchie Davis, 15, of Orlando was stopped minutes later in Seminole County behind the wheel of the Lynx bus carrying Johnson and one other passenger, Seminole investigators said. Deputies said he had stolen the bus and driven it without a license. He was arrested on a grand-theft-auto charge and being held at Seminole's Juvenile Assessment Center.
    They said he proceeded to drive Route 39 almost as if he were a Lynx driver: He was on schedule and knew all the route's stops and turns.
    "I drove that bus better than most Lynx drivers could," Davis told deputies, the incident report shows. "There isn't a scratch on it."
  2. Boobie Miles

    Boobie Miles Active Member

    You're batman.
  3. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    This reminds me of Denis Leary's story about Lenny Clarke, who essentially did the same thing while running for mayor of Boston back in the late-'70s or early-'80s.
  4. Gutter

    Gutter Well-Known Member


    Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman.
  5. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    [Jerry's Apartment]

    (Kramer and Jerry)

    KRAMER: What did you go up there to heckle her for?

    JERRY: Because she came down to the club and heckled me! Give her a taste of her own medicine! (George enters.)

    KRAMER: Oh, YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.

    JERRY: Well, I didn't want her to have an accident.

    GEORGE: What accident?

    KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.

    GEORGE: That's unbelievable!

    KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.

    GEORGE: Wha.. you ran?

    KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."

    GEORGE: Holy cow!

    KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " (Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut) - knocked him out cold!

    GEORGE: How could you do that?!

    KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.

    GEORGE: You're Batman.

    KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door you know with my foot, you know - at the next stop.

    JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?

    KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!

    GEORGE: Well, wha-what about the toe? What happened to the toe?

    KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.

    GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?

    KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
  6. Boobie Miles

    Boobie Miles Active Member

    Might be one of my favorite scenes from my all time favorite show. "And now I'm driiiiiiiving the bus"
  7. dog428

    dog428 Active Member

    Just having the script doesn't do the scene justice. Without Kramer's animated motions -- the punches, driving the bus, fighting off the mugger -- you don't get the full effect.

    Truly one of the best comedy scenes ever.
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