You Can't Make this stuff up: Armless, legless girl and wants to cheerlead

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?
A. Bob.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a cooking pot?
A. Stew.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
A. Russell.

Q. What do you call a woman with one leg?
A. Eileen.

Q. What if she were also Chinese?
A. Irene.

 

Being towed behind a boat?
Skip

 

Classy as always.

 

You're the one mocking her with that handle.

 

Too bad we don't debate education funding as passionately as we do who gets on the stupid-assed cheerleading squad. America: the world's best country at being diverted by diversions.

 

She's all heart.

 

Because it would turn political, then turn ugly with the "merit-pay" and "tenure" squabbles, and the "teachers are gods" crowd would get riled up at the hint that "no, they're not."

Eeech.

 

We're #1! We're #1!

 

Fixed that for you.

 

Well, I knew of an art teacher in Tennessee who taught art (and did art) without any arms or legs. He could paint with a brush in his teeth. Sixty Minutes once did a story on him.

Having said that I can't see how this girl could participate in what is today's cheerleading. They could in essence use her as the toss object.
Which kind of reminds me of a really bad joke from my youth:
Mrs. Jones, can Johnny come play baseball with us?
Son, you know Johnny can't play baseball without arms or legs.
Yes, Mrs. Jones, but someone stole the third base bag.

Toss objects or third-base bags, same thing.

 

Or she'd make for a nice period.

 

She'd make a great cheerleader. Hell, everybody knows Weebles Wobble but don't fall down.