YES!!!! Time to break out the greatest cliche ledes ever.

The text of an e-mail sent from a high school sports editor I know to his staff today:

No Halloween ledes this weekend, please.
Let's be a little more creative and original than that.









I considered threatening physical harm but figured I'd try to be nice for a change.
And it actually worked

 

Now u no y im not.

 

A line I actually used once ... schools changed to protect the innocent:

Wherever the party was, it sure didn't have much competition from the game. And, if some little goblin managed to spike the apple cider, then it would have had more punch than City High on Friday night ...

 

I used to tell my stringers that if I ever got a Halloween or Friday the 13th lede from them, they would never write for me again.

 

Use a St. Patrick's Day lede. Nobody will see it coming.

 

Wow, and I just told my writers it was a fireable offense.

Never thought to go all Jigsaw on them, though it is in keeping with the season.

 

I had this same problem with everyone using Rosh Hashanah ledes. Oy.

 

The apples and honey were sweet, but the game was sour. If last night's season opener was any indication, it will not be a happy new year for Einstein High.

 

Christmas came early ...

 

All Hallow's Eve couldn't spook Salem High quarterback Jimmy Bumblefuck as he threw for 317 yards and four touchdowns in the Executioners' 36-17 win over Podunk High at Hocus Pocus Stadium on Saturday.
Bumblefuck, whose favorite Halloween candy is anything with roofies, pushed Salem out to a quick 24-7 lead by halftime, making the Pussbags wish it was All-Saints Day.

 

The Podunk Giants weren't fucked wearing a devil costume Saturday, but it was still a successful night at WTF Fieldhouse ... [/crossthreading]

 

Jigsaw makes them chop their own finger off.