1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Yes, this means YOU.

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Starman, Mar 15, 2007.

  1. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member


    ::) :eek: :-X
  2. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Bud Light presents "Real Men of Genius" Real Men of Genius

    Today, we salute YOU, Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator!

    Maybe it was that hot little minx in purchasing or the new receptionist with the tight sweater and short skirt
    Or maybe you just figured now was the best time to give a squirt can't wait no longerrrrrr

    Forced from your cubicle, you seek the only refuge you can find -- a public restroom I'm maaaaastering my domaiiiiiiin

    Self-gratification never felt so right [/i]oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh[/i] Or so wrong excuse me Mr. Templeton

    But keep at it! If something's going to get whacked today, it might as well come from your hands! Buddy, can you hand me a towel?

    So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbator! If Rosie Palm is going to take dictation, she's going to need a drink in hand first! Mr. Office Bathroom Masturbaaaator
  3. Rockbottom

    Rockbottom Active Member

    This right here is why I cruise this site as often as I do. Comedy GOLD.

  4. goalmouth

    goalmouth Active Member

    "ass gasket"!
  5. lapdog

    lapdog Member

    Who was that man?
    I'd like to shake his hand...

    On second thought, maybe not. :eek: :eek:
  6. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    that guy got off easy (pun intended). You try that in the Atlanta airport bathroom, and you're liable to get pinched by the law. Not even the chairman of the mass transit system can escape. Who knew the Hartsfield Jackson was such a little brothel?

  7. Trouser_Buddah

    Trouser_Buddah Active Member

    Right after I turned 21, a guy I went to school with was barred for life from one of the more popular bars in my hometown after he was caught spanking the monkey in the bathroom stall.

    But the funniest part about the whole thing was the Norwegian owner\'s retelling of the story. Some guy came out and complained because it was THAT loud and obnoxious...After a while, more guys come out and complain because he was STILL at it.

    Finally the owner has to go in and put an end to the festivities...

    And that still did not ruin the mood for the guy, who apparently was not going to stop until he reached his destination.

    The funniest words I have ever heard with a Norwegian accent?

    He just wouldn\'t stop! He just. Wouldn\'t. Stop.
  8. Huggy

    Huggy Well-Known Member

    Absolutely brilliant. Best line I have seen on here in ages...

    Well done, sir.
  9. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    damn, hopefully not chunky. ouch.
  10. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

  11. Amen. Had me in tears I was laughing so hard (no pun intended). Well done indeed.
  12. writing irish

    writing irish Active Member

    I once spanked it at work. Granted, it was 20 years ago, meaning that I was 18 years old. I was an elevator operator at an old hotel in California. (cue Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California from The Big Lebowski...)

    It was the overnight shift and I was bored and yes, horny, as 18-year-old guys who have been looking at hot California babes all day can be. So, I stopped the elevator between floors and worked off a quick one, again, as 18-year-olds can and will do. I shot into the filthy void of the elevator shaft...it was a manual door, so I just opened the door while I was stopped between floors and spewed into the empty space between the elevator and the wall. I quickly went to a restroom and washed up, so I didn't do the rest of my shift with a jizzy right hand. Even as a teenaged horndog, I was fairly hygienic. I remember feeling a minor sense of victory that I had been paid to spank it, even though it was just minimum wage.
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page