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Yard Sales

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Italian_Stallion, May 24, 2008.

  1. Italian_Stallion

    Italian_Stallion Active Member

    Adrian is having a yard sale today. I'm not enthused. It's actually coming to an end. There have been lots of old guys, including one wearing a Subway Series hat. We've sold some stuff. Some people come and look and then leave without even saying a word. I find it offensive. It's as if they're saying that we suck and our stuff sucks. If I ever end up at a yard sale, I'll remember that feeling of dejection and buy something. I mean, what's 25 cents? Buy a book. If you don't like it, burn it for heat.

    I think our big score today is about $100. It hardly seems worth the work. After all, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the sound of the alarm clock and again at 6:30 when Adrian suggested that I go outside and move a table or have my man parts rearranged. It was my choice.

    Probably the worst part is that I have nothing to sell. The yard is littered with toys and children's clothing. I didn't realize how much I've neglected myself. I just always think of the kids and Adrian first, I guess. I sacrifice. I knew this, but I didn't quite understand how pathetic I am until Adrian mentioned that we might do this again next week and that we had more stuff in the house.

    A guy asked me what all I had to sell, I couldn't think of shit. I have boxes and boxes of baseball cards and an iMac that doesn't work. I have a USB floppy disk drive. My guess is that anyone younger that 15 won't even know what it is. I bought a used laptop three years ago for $500. I bought an exercise bike for $100 last fall and a weight bench and weights last winter for about $100. Other than that, I can't think of anything I've bought in quite some time.

    To hell with the kids, I'm going shopping with our $100.
  2. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    I absolutely love the fact you call her Adrian. That's all.
  3. Buy yourself some Zubaz pants.

    You seem like a Zubaz type of guy.
  4. John

    John Well-Known Member

    If I go to a yard sale and don't see anything I want, I'm not buying something just to make you happy.
  5. forever_town

    forever_town Active Member

    Pretty soon, the only things we can afford are what we find at yard sales.
  6. leo1

    leo1 Active Member

    me either. and i don't talk to the fuckers if all they have is a bunch of shit.
  7. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    Yeah, put your good shit out there next time, then we'll talk.
  8. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    I need to have a yard sale, but I'm too lazy. Plus I don't want people I don't know touching my soon-to-be-ex stuff.
  9. Cosmo

    Cosmo Well-Known Member

    Did you sell your SportsJournalists.com thong?
  10. Appgrad05

    Appgrad05 Active Member

    Best dime I ever spent.
  11. JR

    JR Active Member

    And the really wealthy can go to Wal-Mart.

    Had one yard sale about 20 years ago and came out with around $1000.
  12. Italian_Stallion

    Italian_Stallion Active Member

    We finished the day with a whopping $145. We still have tons of crap.
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