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www.bumwine.com - good for a chuckle or two

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by 93Devil, Jan 9, 2008.

  1. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member


    Just a fun site put up by some creative guys who rate the worst of the worst wines sold in America.

    From T-Bird to Wild Irish, they give a solid, funny, review of these awful conconctions.

    A test subject reports, "Strawberry Cisco has a bouquet similar to that of Frankenberry cereal fermented in wine cooler with added sprinkle of brandy for presentation."

  2. ArnoldBabar

    ArnoldBabar Active Member

    They don't include Boone's Farm, so this is hardly an authoritative study. How do you miss that?

    When I was in college, the 7-Eleven across the street had Boone's Farm priced so that with tax it was an even dollar. If you could come up with a dollar, you could score a bottle of Kountry Kwencher and hit a party.
  3. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member

    They include it, but say it's not strong enough.
  4. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    Shush, AB. Boone's Farm is the shit!

  5. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    I still shiver when I see MD 20/20 Grape Wine or Orange Jubilee.
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Oh, god, I can't even look at the Dog without shivering and retching anymore.

    One thing I've always wondered. It's a Mogen David product; is it kosher?
  7. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    Under "Others" there's a short thing about "Ripple," from Sanford and Son. I always wondered what the hell that was.
  8. ArnoldBabar

    ArnoldBabar Active Member

    Hey, I'm not ripping the Farm, I'm advocating it!
  9. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    That website is a blast. But I was saddened to not see any historical stuff on that great bum wine of the 70s, T.J. Swann.

    And while I was trying to look up T.J. Swann in Google I came across this 70s board.


    Check it out. I may be gone for a while reading this stuff.
  10. ArnoldBabar

    ArnoldBabar Active Member

    I'm 21, and the occasion is my two-year anniversary with my college girlfriend.

    I arrange a romantic night in the big city, dinner at a decent restaurant followed by a night in a reasonably nice hotel -- we both still live in the dorm, so just an uninterrupted night alone is a luxury.

    After retiring to the room, cracking open a bottle of cheap champagne and engaging in some hot 21-year-old sex, the girlfriend zonks out at like 9:30. I hang out on the balcony and polish off the half-finished champagne, stewing a bit that she crapped out on me so early on this night I had big plans for. It's only 10, I'm half-drunk and I'm bored, so I ill-advisedly set out on foot.

    The only available alcohol purveyor in the big city at this hour -- without going into a bar, which after the evening's largesse I cannot afford -- is a little bodega filled with people who scare my little white suburban ass. I grab for the first thing I see that I can afford: A bottle of Thunderbird. I take it back to the room, finish the whole damn thing and pass out.

    I am awakened by the girlfriend, who doesn't look happy. It doesn't take long to figure out why. The sheets are cold and wet. I pissed the bed. "At first I felt bad for you, because I fell asleep and left you to finish the champagne," she said. "But then I saw this."

    The bottle. I was too wasted to even dispose of the evidence. The rest of the weekend's festivities are cancelled. Just another story of T-Bird heartbreak.
  11. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    That, ArnoldBabar, is a great story.

    "What's the word?"

  12. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    What's the price? Dollar twice.
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