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Write your obituary

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rusty Shackleford, Apr 6, 2011.

  1. Rusty Shackleford

    Rusty Shackleford Active Member

    What would yours say if you dropped at the end of this question? What would you write if you wrote it in advance? I had a discussion about this at work and thought I'd pose it here.
  2. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    Here lies LTL,
    If you didn't like him, go to hell.
  3. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    I don't even want an obit.
  4. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

    Instead of the standard fare of "being lifted into heaven by a host of angels," I want the truth...
    "Spike was dragged, kicking and screaming into the firery depths of Hades, carried in by Lucier's legion, as he clung to a bottle of Jack."
  5. Oggiedoggie

    Oggiedoggie Well-Known Member

    He wanted to be remembered as he was in life.

    So, edit him down to fit into the shoe box that is all the company can afford for a coffin.
  6. He died doing what he loved: a 20-year-old hooker with HUGE tits, an oral fixation and no gag reflex!

    Suck it Cleveland!
  7. schiezainc

    schiezainc Well-Known Member

    "You mean to tell me I have to pay for an obituary to run in the newspaper? Seriously? When did this place lose its sense of community and instead decide to chase money and prey on grieving families? Well, at least I can finally say what I've held inside for all these years. I did not care for the Godfather. Didn't like the movie. Couldn't get into it. Why? Well, I feel it insists upon itself. It takes forever getting in, it's been like six and a half hours. I can't even finish the movie, I've never even seen the ending. Oh, and I'll miss my wife."
  8. HejiraHenry

    HejiraHenry Well-Known Member

    "... died dancing on the grave of a former USA Today sports editor, as he had often vowed to do."

    "... met the love of his life in 1977 and finally, after a serious of increasingly absurd wrong turns, married her in 2004. "I always did take a long time to make big decisions," he said."

    "... Though he initially went to college to study theater, he eventually decided to exercise his flair for the dramatic by confronting, and sometimes prevailing against, the daily deadlines of print journalism."
  9. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    "Here lies Baron Scicluna, who went through life always trying to take the shortcut to get to the top, even if it involved hiding something in his pants."
  10. Brooklyn Bridge

    Brooklyn Bridge Active Member

    No, No YOUR obit, not Charlie Sheen's
  11. Shoeless Joe

    Shoeless Joe Active Member

    I don't know about the obit, but feel free to use this for my eulogy:

    "We want to be free! We want to be free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man."
  12. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    I don't know what I want for an obit, but I want this to be the thread title if SJ is around when I kick it: DEAD MEAT
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