Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?

No, it's just that once you're married you are apparently contractually obligated about hearing every single detail of your wife's day, her plans for tomorrow and why you're a miserable son of a bitch.

 

Everything comes back to Seinfeld, W-b. No wonder I'm still single.

Jerry: I had a very interesting lunch with George: Costanza today.
Kramer: Really?
Jerry: We were talking about our lives and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men.
Kramer: So, then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?"
Jerry: Yes. We did.
Kramer: Yeah, well, let me clue you in on something. There isn't.
Jerry: There isn't?
Kramer: Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry:? Marriage? Family?
Jerry: Well...
Kramer: They're prisons. Man made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning. She's there. You go to sleep at night. She's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?
Jerry: Really?
Kramer: Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you're eating.
Jerry: I can?
Kramer: Oh, yeah. You know why? Because it's dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner?
Jerry: What?
Kramer: You talk about your day. How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know. How about you? How was your day?
Jerry: Boy.
Kramer: It's sad , Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs..
Jerry: I'm glad we had this talk.
Kramer: Oh, you have no idea.

 

No, that happens before then, too. Thankfully, I've already gotten good at tuning things out.

 

Carlos Boozer told me it is easier to fuck over blind people....

 

That reminds me of one of my all-time favorite lines from a Bill Simmons column (although...
A. I'm not currently a fan of his
B. I actually think it was a reader email.)

It was something to the effect of "Gordon Gund was the luckiest guy at the NBA Draft Lottery. He didn't have to look at Jerry Krause's face."

 

I'd rather date a deaf person for the independence factor. And if I was already dating her, I'd rather she go deaf than blind. Though the communication would be a ridiculous PITA.

 

Dumb:

 

I laughed so hard I hurt myself.

 

Fail.