Worst weekly article ever?

Perhaps Morganna could come out of retirement and slap him silly with her "hooters flapping in all directions."

 

Unfortunately, she had to retire after botched Tommy John surgery damaged her shoulder.

 

hooters. flapping. in. all. directions.

 

Hello Everyone,
I'm Ben and I wrote the column in question. I have to say you people are awfully full of yourselves. First of all, this is a column not a report on a softball game and it was meant to be funny. The players are friends of mine and I have received nothing but compliments from them.
As for my lowbrow, maybe you pompous peons should lighten up a little bit. What I wrote is not much different than anything you would hear on primetime TV. It's a joke you morons.
To the idiots who think they can hit better than 56% picking NFL games, I have one thing to say, Put Up Your Money!

Don't you people have anything better to do?
Ben

 

Post of the Year candidate.

 

Consider us chastened.

 

Wow, do those picks come with a picture of a really big lock?

 

Outing Alert: Ben is this guy...





Psst... Hey Ben. Come here... yeah, you. Closer. You want to join out SportsJournalists.com NFL Pick'em league in the fall, you're invited. We'd all be happy to stack up against your 56 percent.

 

"... it was meant to be funny."

Well, there's the first problem I see. Aiming for "primetime TV" quality is the second.

Cordially,
Pompous Pseudonymous

P.S.: Beer me, newb. Flying Bison.

 

There was some guy at a local paper wrote a column almost as bad explaining why you need to have a "hottie" on your co-ed softball team. She didn't need skills on the diamond just looks, you know, so you could look at her.

"She has to be gorgeous too, though, right? This is almost essential. Especially if she only gets on base one out of every 10 at-bats."

I thought that was bad. But wow. HFIAD? Damn.

 

I was hoping for a new column, but that post will suffice.