Worst movie/book/album/etc. you own

WHEEL OF FISH!!! YOU SO STOOOPID!!!

It's the classic example of laughing your ass off and being embarrassed that you're laughing your ass off, but that almost makes it more enjoyable.

 

Town Talk from UHF was great, too.

 

I like "Fly," "Every Morning" and, to a lesser degree, "Someday." But the hard rock, which comprised the rest of the album, was awful.

 

Got that book for Christmas from a long-ago ex before we ever went out. Tried to read it an could not.

 

This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives ya, 'cause life is like a mop and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff... you, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it's not good enough, it's not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a window and say, "Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more!"

 

The non-MST3K version is included as an extra on the MST3K DVD.

It's also probably the worst movie I own.

 

The worst book I've ever read was one of the Chelsea Handler books, I think it was her first one. I found it on a plane and it was a cross-country flight and I had nothing else to read or listen to and it was fucking awful.

 

I own the UHF soundtrack.

 

Movie:
Caddyshack 2, Scary Movie 2 or Mr. Deeds or Not Another Teen Movie.

For some dumb reason in college I would occasionally impulse buy DVDs, or if I couldn't find them at Blockbuster, it seemed to make sense. Ugh. I think Caddyshack 2 came in a pack of two DVDs.

Book:
A Damn Fined War, by Bill Yenne

It's just a cheap paperback alternative history novel. But, it did suck. It pit Patton against the Soviets in 1945. I usually eat up anything similar, Alt. history or WW3, pretty much no matter the quality. This one, though, was just ridiculous. P

Flyboys, by James Bradley

I hated this book. It was supposedly about a handful of American pilots who crashed on a Japanese-held island near Iwo Jima, and their torture at the hands of their captors. One problem among many was there weren't nearly enough details about their captivity to carry a book. I mean, of course not. They all died. Where are the first-person details supposed to come from? But, to supplement Bradley dove deep into the Japanese psyche, trying to figure out why they were so shitty to prisoners, why they raped the ever-living shit out of China, etc.. The main reasons he seemed to come up with: because the Americans mistreated the Indians, and because the Americans firebombed Japanese cities. The Japanese saw these things and decided that's how civilized nations acted. To say the least, the comparisons, for me, didn't connect.

 

"Fly" is the only one of those songs on Floored. The rest came after they completed their sell out. Floored sounded to me like the record label found this awful rock band, gave them one song they knew would be a hit and said, "Listen, put this on your album and it will go Platinum." Once it did, Sugar Ray moved away from its awful hard rock style to the pop style they became known for and made some good money.

Hey, good for them. I would do the same. But their first album is pure, unadulterated crap.

 

Oh, right. "Fly" begat the other decent Sugar Ray songs. I know I've heard both Floored and 14:59, and I might have owned 14:59 at one point. Now, I own neither. And I am not interested in changing that.

 

My wife came home one night from Target and said she'd found a movie for me in the bargain bin.

"I know you're always quoting Caddyshack with your friends, so here ..."
"So you think we should include Caddyshack II quotes?"
"There's a Caddyshack II? Did I ... oh no."