Worst date stories

Rick James thinks cocaine is a hell of a drug.

 

"When those group of Texas cops interrupted our drive in the country," -- Bonnie Parker.

 

Not,

It's ironic because that's the reason I didn't call her back. She was super cute. But it kept making me think of your situation. In fact, for a while, I thought it could have been your girl.

Here's why:
1. She was a teacher
2. The marriage didn't work (according to a friend) because she couldn't keep her legs shut
3. She was living in the house! He wasn't.

By the time all of these things became known, I started flipping out. I nearly went on SportsJournalists.com and asked you what state you were from.

She had also told me she was a runner, but I am fairly sure she had never run or trained for a marathon. Although I'm not 100 percent sure.

Let's just be clear though once and for all... you aren't from Michigan are you?

 

That's hilarious! And kinda strange how similar her story is to ex-wifey's. But no, I'm not from Michigan. Too funny though!

 

Thanks to several years of working nights, weekends, and holidays, AOL was my matchmaker. Why I kept trying I have no clue.

No. 1: Met this smart chick in a chatroom, we corresponded and decided it would be cool to go out on a date. She claimed to not be a sports fan but was curious about it, anyway (a Texas girl who is not a sports fan?), so we went to dinner and a college football game. Now, I knew she had a kid but at that stage in my life I was desperate, so whatever.

We got to talking about religion (landmine) and she said, "The most important thing a parent can achieve for her child is eternal salvation. If a child is not saved, the parent has failed." I was so blown away I just kept taking mouthfuls of food, but the question about the saved child who ends up getting into drugs and shit vs. the atheist who treats people right, gets good grades, and stays off the sauce lingered in my mind. I took the high road.

At the football game, it's early September in Texas and it's in the low-90s, even at a 7 p.m. kickoff. This woman is pretty big, and I noticed at one point she's getting pale. And weaving while walking. She passed out on the concourse. I got the attention of the medical people, they got her an IV and some water, and she came to, unable to recall the previous 15 minutes. I mean, a native Texan unable to deal with the heat and humidity of her hometown? Come on...

We left at halftime and I never got in touch with her again, despite her attempts to set up date No. 2. Yes, I'm a shallow and narrow-minded asshole. I can live with that.

No. 2: Once again, met her in a chat room. Middle-eastern shortie. Very cute, headed for chiro school so driven and smart. But living with parents during her senior year of college while her parents treated her like a high school senior.

The first date was a night of bar-hopping and hitting a bunch of bands. Lots of fun. Naturally I don't have the sac to kiss her good night, but we made plans to "definitely" do it again. Second date we met for dinner and planned on hitting a baseball game. We got our drinks ordered when her phone rang. She answered it and talked. And talked. And talked. I finished my beer, left a 10-spot on the table and walked. I had the tickets so I went to the game. Never talked to her again.

 

Fixed for accuracy.

 

Actually, I think they were from both states. But yeah, now that I remember, there were some Louisiana cops involved.

 

"We had planned a quiet evening in the basement, just the two of us." - Eva Braun.

 

So coke is a deal-breaker?
She was cutting back from nightly to weekly. Good trend.
You could have been hanging with Stanley Roper and having crazy coke-induced sex.

 

"When that nice young man walked up to John and asked him to autograph his album." --- Yoko Ono