Worst date stories

I went out with a guy once and we never made it to the restaurant. He managed to bring up both politics AND religion on the 15-minute drive. I was home within 20 minutes of when he picked me up.

 

Sort of a first date story even though I knew the girl.

I was living in Australia and was asked out by one of the waitresses at the club I was bouncing at. I am not sure what the American equivalent is but she was from the state of Tasmania which all of the other Aussies would make fun of.

We go out and drinking and despite having had many drinks together previously in a group setting I realize through my growing buzz that she is a bit if a racist – openly mocking the Japanese tourists at the table next to us in the pub, chingy chingy chong stuff doing the full slant eye impression with her hands to her eyes.

We leave and go to a club where she gets into an argument with a Scottish backpacker. She starts screaming at the girl that she is a SHEEP FUCKIN FUCKER when a group of the backpacker’s friends come over, also Scottish. She proceeds to call them “a bunch of pale cu*ts who should go home”. One of the Scottish guys completely sucker punches me and a small melee ensues that I have to later apologize for as I knew the bouncers at the club and it was bad form to start something on a night out.

We return to the club where we work and continue drinking when she asks if I want to go fuck in the stairwell.

At that point I should have said no but did not and we made our way to the stairwell out back. She was a few steps ahead of me and when she reached the landing she reached into her pants and said “I’m on my rags” and pulled out her tampon which she threw on the floor. What happened next is neither something I take pride in or look back fondly on but rather regard as an episode of general bad choices while living overseas. The next morning I woke up and realized that a tooth had been knocked loose and that I was in dire need of a shower.

There was no second date.

 

IJAG, I swear to God I am going to get a "hair" guy to ask you out, and when he picks you I will be sure his car is decked in Steeler shit.

Somehow, someway I have to make this happen.

 

Wow. I'm going to take my awful-but-relatively-boring bad date story and just walk on out of here.

 

I knew that wcv would deliver in a big way, and he did. Chet's is pretty damn good as well.

 

I had been chatting on MySpace with a guy. He seemed nice, smart, etc. He gave me a picture of him with short hair, but explained that it was immediately after a haircut because he frequently grew out his hair and donated it all to Locks of Love.

We decided to meet up for pizza. I had asked if he minded if I brought two friends along (because I'm paranoid about meeting a guy for the first time that I don't know in person, whether I met him in a public place or not) and he said he understood....and then proceeded to flirt with my friend for the rest of the night.

A year and a half later, I'm hanging with my boyfriend at the time. We all went to a fairly large school (23,000 enrollment) and I had basically completely forgotten about him, until he walked into the physics undergrad study room (my ex was a physics major and I was friends with all of his friends, so even though I was an evil liberal arts major, I hung out with them all the time). I have no idea if he recognized me or not but I hightailed it the fuck out of there. Thankfully, I never saw him again.

 

A guide to dating (men, give this to your dates in advance; women, take note!): http://pbh3.tumblr.com/post/390543309/1938-dating-guide-for-single-women

 

Where is wcv's story?

 

I dunno; not like him to pull out a post after entering it.

 

I ask a girl out in college to come with me to a professor's pot luck at his home. When I go to pick her up, her baby daddy is there. She asks me if he can come with us. Apparently he drove in from three hours away for a surprise visit.

So I write this off as a date right then and there. No big deal. I had known she had a kid and that the father wasn't exactly out of the picture. I end up taking them along to the party, but she sits right next to me the entire evening. Lots of playful touching on her part. Oh I liked it, but I was thoroughly confused as to what the fuck was going on. The baby daddy, in the meantime, was never in the same room as us all night. Don't know what was going on there, but let's just say the ride home was one of the most painfully awkward experiences of my life.

 

When I was 18 or so, a mutual friend introduced me to this girl, and the three of us hung out a couple times casually, and eventually I asked her to hang out without the third wheel. It wasn't a specifically a date, but it was clear there was some interest and when you're 18 hanging out is the same as a date.

Anyway, I guess she didn't tell her other friends she had plans because right after I get to her house one of her girl friends shows up unannounced with her boyfriend and.... another guy - someone she was trying to hook her up with. The girl even introduces him as "the guy I've been telling you that you should be dating." Pretty awkward. The girl I'm there to see is obviously uncomfortable, but she can't seem to get a private minute to explain to her friend she already had plans, and her friend, her boyfriend and this new guy are too thick to realize there was a reason we were both walking out the door when they pulled up and had plans to get something to eat and then go to the mall or whatever it was we were going to do. So they end up tagging along all night.

This guy her friend is telling her to date is what makes this so good. First of all, this girl has classic good looks and always dressed well. This guy shows up in dirty jeans and a shirt with his friend's band's name on it - The Pubes. Then, the whole night he regales us with tales of getting into fistfights as a kid in Brooklyn and waking up with bloody snot every day since he was 6. And somehow we end up watching two twin sisters playing acoustic guitars in a coffee shop, and he embarrasses all of us by telling the owner he liked the coffee but not the "lesbian metal," something that still makes no sense to me since they were playing Dave Matthews covers. At one point it comes up in conversation that we were, in fact, hoping to have had a night with just the two of us, but that revelation doesn't seem to make a difference to them. Finally, when we all get back to my date's house, he goes in her bathroom for about 15 minutes and emerges to tell us not to go in there for at least half an hour.

I tried to wait around for them to leave, but it was like they were waiting for me to leave. Eventually I just went home because I had to work in the morning and lived about 40 minutes away. The girl called me the next day to apologize, and we set another time to meet. A couple days later she got accepted to an art school across the country so I kind of blew it off at that point.

 

I have a million of these stories so this might be a multi-post thread for me.

This story is not about a date per se, more like just a random girl I met at a bar.

I was at a club watching a friend's band and I went outside to smoke a cigarette. This very cute, petite, young girl follows me out. We exchange introductions and she tells me this is the first time she's been out in 8 months since she had a baby. So we're chatting and laughing having a good time, dancing behind the club, she's all grinding on me and stuff. It's an hour from last call and I'm thinking I could do a lot worse so I go with it.

We go back in and I buy us drinks. She's really funny, like hilariously so, which I love because I often find really funny girls really smart too because they have to be quick-witted. She tells me she's at the club celebrating her little brother's birthday (he turned 21). She introduces me to him and a bunch of her hottie friends and I'm thinking this could be a great night.

So the club closes and she asks if I wanna come back to her brother's pad to chill. I agree of course. We get to his place and she grabs my phone and puts her number in, but not her name. She's told me her name, but I've long forgotten it and don't wanna tell her so. So I ask her how she spells her name. She says with a K and an I at the end. Now, I know her name doesn't start with a K because her friends were calling her Patty or Patsy or Patricia or some shit. So I say, I thought your name started with a P. She says, "Oh yeah, but my stage name is Kandi." Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. So, internally, I'm fuming because I'm not really into banging strippers ... at all. BUT, I decide to hang out a bit more. Some weed is brought out and we smoke a bowl or two.

At this point, I'm "relaxed" and hoping the brother and her friends go their seperate ways so I can get some alone time with this girl. Well, she asked her brother to bring out "the stuff." He comes back into the room with this little black bag and someone mentions Oxy and I'm thinking "acne medicine?" That's how fucking dense and/or high I was. Some pills are put on the table and the girls begin to crush them up. The brother is over in the corner doing something, looking back, I'd wager he was smoking meth. With the pills all crushed up, the girls start making lines with them. Just when Kandi asks if I want a line or two, her brother starts freaking out because he can't find a working lighter in the house. I tell him I've got one but it's in my car.

I calmly walk outside, get in my car and got the fuck outta there.