Worst date stories

What's the worst date you have ever been on?

MY date wasn't so bad per se, but the circumstances leading up to it, well ...
I was in high school, had recently gotten contacts and discovered hair gel a blow dryer and some confidence.
It was was nice to have a hair style and drop the Coke bottle glasses.
So I call a girl I go to church with ... Really cute girl and SUPER smart.. Her sister went to Swarthmore.
I call her (a major step for a self-confessed nerd - Capt. of the Quiz Bowl team ladies!) and just start talking. I end up asking her out, but she turns me down, nicely.. She has a boyfriend, but she saves me; tells me if she becomes available, she'll let me know.

A few months later, after church one day, she stops me. Tells me she is free and would like to go out.*

Cool!
I am STOKED. My first date with a hot chick. And she sought me out after church to tell me she was available.
We are going to movies. She lives 40 minutes away, plus 45-50 minutes to the movie theater. While she was very nice and smart, we had NOTHING in common. She sang all the songs on the radio - which I hate. She was big into music, band stuff. Not my cup of tea.
She was really philosophical, which would have been cool if I hadn't been so immature. She asked me if I thought people were inherently good or bad .. stuff like that.
After dinner and movie we made the long trip back to her place ... We didn't' talk much, 'cause well, we just didn't click.
It was the worst date I was ever one.


* This the kicker ...

The Reason she was available ??
Her boyfriend, who was in college, had gotten drunk at a party, fell in the river and drowned. A few weeks later she tells me she's available.

Next ...

 

In my early 20s, some guy I knew kept asking me out, and although I wasn't totally interested, I went ahead and went on a date with him one night.

First, he took me to a car show, which would have been bad enough since I don't care for that sort of thing, but then it turned out the car show wasn't even that weekend.

Then he took me to Hooters for dinner (I am not kidding), in which he got completely drunk, and I had to drive us back to my house, where he passed out on the couch and my roommate and I locked ourselves in my room.

When we got up, he'd left a note saying he had a fun time and would like to go out again sometime. Needless to say, that didn't happen.

 

Man, I don't even know where to begin.

 

What's a date?

 

We went out to a nice dinner, with flowers, and things were going real well.

Then one day, he gave me a ring box filled with shit. What a freak.

The end.

 

Give us the whole eight seconds worth

 

I left her at the gas station. Enough said.

 

When I was in college, I took a date to a John Holmes movie.

A definite "WTF was I thinking" moment in my life.

 

Worst date I ever had was a blind date. Big surprise, huh. (side note: best date I ever had was also a blind date, and I ended up marrying her).

Anyway, on to the bad date. A co-worker's wife was always trying to set me up with her friends and she said she had the perfect girl, someone she went to high school with, but hadn't seen in ages. She gives her my number and we talk on the phone a couple of times before deciding to go on a date.

From the phone conversations, she told me she was 5-2, "about" 100 pounds. She had strawberry blonde hair. Really sexy voice, definitely sounded "petite." We decide to meet at a public place, so I told her I'd meet her at the gas station a few blocks from my apartment.

I had a really nice evening planned. Reservations at a dockside seafood place, table near the water on a very nice night. Afterwards, a trip to the park for a dessert picnic by the lake. The rest of the night was pending how the first two places went.

Well, all of that got thrown directly out the window when I pulled up to the gas station. She said she'd be driving a Navy Ford Taurus, but I figured I had the wrong chick, because this one had a kid in the front seat. So I made a lap around the gas station, thinking maybe I was a little early and my Navy Ford Taurus with my hot strawberry blonde would show up soon. After about five minutes, I decide to pull up next to her and roll down my window. I ask if she's the girl I was meeting and she said "Yep!"

Well, fuck me. Um. I had no idea what to do, so I'm like "Well, I didn't really have anything big planned, what do you have in mind?" Her response was "I don't care, but I need to get my son something to eat, he's starving."

I follow her to the Burger King, and on the way I call my friend's wife to chew her ass out and she's like "She's got a kid? No way! I haven't talked to her in like six years."

She asks if we can just go back to my place, and I really wanted to say "Fuck no!" but the chick did drive 30 minutes and apparently had a starving 3-year old, so I reluctantly agreed.

She did have the 5-2 part right, and she was strawberry blonde (but it was dyed blonde and she had dyed it so much that it was damaged and fried). Oh, and she was nowhere near 100 pounds. She was probably in the 230 range. When we got to my apartment, I realized she was wearing PAJAMA pants.

Her fucking kid was terrible, too. The little bastard poured his fries all over my living room floor, then opened his hamburger and dropped it on the floor. she picked it up and handed it back to him and he kept eating.

She sat on the sofa while I sat in a chair across the room. She kept asking me to go sit next to her, but I just ignored her. Her kid ended up falling asleep on the sofa and she wanted to watch a movie together. I told her that I was really tired and I had an early assignment and she was like "Oh, well, we can just let my son sleep on the sofa while we go in the bedroom." WTF?

I politely told her that she wasn't really my type and that I didn't appreciate her leaving out a few vital details (mainly the kid, which I wouldn't have had a problem with had she just told me). I was a gentleman and I gave her $20 for gas money for the wasted trip. I told her it was nice meeting her, but she'd probably never hear from me again.

Oddly enough, you would think I'd have learned my lesson with blind dates, but I went on another one about three months later and that was the one that turned out to be my wife.

 

Met a girl at a karaoke bar one night and really hit it off. I was blind drunk, but somehow I managed to ask her out for the following weekend and she amazingly said yes.

So we meet up for dinner and start talking. Since we had met at a bar, I assumed she drank. She didn't. No big deal, though. I can live with that.

After dinner, we go and have coffee. During the course of the conversation, she asks out of the blue "So, are you religious at all?"

Oh shit, I'm a dead man. If it's important enough for her to ask on the first date, it's a big deal to her. Two other thoughts also flash through my mind:

1. I'm not getting laid tonight.
2. I've got to get the fuck out of here!

So, I say "no, not really. Only go to church for weddings and funerals." Then I ask, "you?"

"Oh, yes," she says. And then goes into this long story about how her mother had had some deadly illness --- I forget what exactly --- and they couldn't find any treatment that worked. So they took her to this faith healer who preaches out by the Interstate and whatever she had cleared right up. And now they go to this church three times a week and would I like to come some time.

I was nice about it, but needless to say, I didn't have a second cup of coffee ... or a second date with this woman.

 

Great story.

I'm sure she meant 100 kilograms.