Words of advice

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can get with a kind word alone.

 

Always hit the driver off the tee.

If you're going to hit it in the shit, hit it in the shit waaaaaaaay down there.

 

Be careful when you ride your bike into Chiahuita at 3:08 in the a.m.

 

If you're going to pay an extraordinary amount of money for JFK's golf clubs, take them out of your friend's Saab. Just fucking do it.

 

go ahead and shoot the sheriff. just don't shoot the deputy.

 

If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.

 

i'm a balloon. blow me.

 

don't piss on the electric fence.

 

make love, not war

 

Two elephants for a quarter is only a good deal if you need two elephants and have a quarter.

 

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever

 

You did not. Why did you do that?