Words of advice

For those of you searching for guidance I present SportsJournalists.com's Words of Advice thread.

All the advice you could every want about crap no one other than you could care about from a bunch of anonymous pricks who couldn't make a give-a-shit sandwich with two slices of bread!

;D

Don't play pool with anyone whose first name is a city.

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.

 

Don't piss into the wind.

Lord loves a working man; don;t trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

 

Neslon Algren once said, "Never sleep with a woman whose problems are worse than your own."

Can't say I've ever taken that one to heart.

 

There's three rules that I live by:

Never get less than 12 hours' sleep;
Never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city;
and never go near a lady who's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body.

You stick with that, everything else is cream cheese.

 

Be thankful for what you've got, there's always someone else who has more/something better.

 

Don't get crabs.

 

When you live with a girl (and things are rockier than a Vermont quarry) and one night when she's feeling unusually spry for the first time in a few weeks and wants to whip up a meal she and her dad often ate, don't, I repeat, DON'T say, "That's stupid." Because even though you didn't mean it, that will be the final nail on the doomed relationship, and the end of the living arrangement.

Stupidest thing I ever said. Sad thing is, I really did want to make that meal. But by that point, the relationship was doomed so what was the point?

Four and a half years later, I think she would agree. At the time, though, nothing I'd ever said hurt someone as much as that line.

 

As my cousin once told me, never pass up a chance to have sex with a gymnast.

The same cousin also told me, "Be sure and wrap that rascal."

 

as someone who ha been with a gymnast, i agree. she was my first so i didnt utilize her as well as i could have.

 

Did she use you as an apparatus?

 

Don't argue with the people who prepare your food.

 

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.