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Words of advice

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. For those of you searching for guidance I present SportsJournalists.com's Words of Advice thread.

    All the advice you could every want about crap no one other than you could care about from a bunch of anonymous pricks who couldn't make a give-a-shit sandwich with two slices of bread!


    Don't play pool with anyone whose first name is a city.

    Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

    Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
  2. Bob Slydell

    Bob Slydell Active Member

    Don't piss into the wind.

    Lord loves a working man; don;t trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
  3. writing irish

    writing irish Active Member

    Neslon Algren once said, "Never sleep with a woman whose problems are worse than your own."

    Can't say I've ever taken that one to heart.
  4. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    There's three rules that I live by:

    Never get less than 12 hours' sleep;
    Never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city;
    and never go near a lady who's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body.

    You stick with that, everything else is cream cheese.
  5. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    Be thankful for what you've got, there's always someone else who has more/something better.
  6. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Don't get crabs.
  7. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    When you live with a girl (and things are rockier than a Vermont quarry) and one night when she's feeling unusually spry for the first time in a few weeks and wants to whip up a meal she and her dad often ate, don't, I repeat, DON'T say, "That's stupid." Because even though you didn't mean it, that will be the final nail on the doomed relationship, and the end of the living arrangement.

    Stupidest thing I ever said. Sad thing is, I really did want to make that meal. But by that point, the relationship was doomed so what was the point?

    Four and a half years later, I think she would agree. At the time, though, nothing I'd ever said hurt someone as much as that line.
  8. Cape_Fear

    Cape_Fear Active Member

    As my cousin once told me, never pass up a chance to have sex with a gymnast.

    The same cousin also told me, "Be sure and wrap that rascal."
  9. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    as someone who ha been with a gymnast, i agree. she was my first so i didnt utilize her as well as i could have.
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Did she use you as an apparatus?
  11. trifectarich

    trifectarich Well-Known Member

    Don't argue with the people who prepare your food.
  12. ServeItUp

    ServeItUp Active Member

    Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
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