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Word choice so bad, it has to be a joke ... right?

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by deskslave, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    From an AP folo on the Wal-Mart trampling death yesterday.

    I mean ... really?
     
  2. TheMethod

    TheMethod Member

    I don't get it.
     
  3. Lollygaggers

    Lollygaggers Member

    Not so much a joke, but a poor attempt at a clever lede. And stories about deaths don't usually need clever ledes anyway, even if it is a folo.
     
  4. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    It wasn't a lead. It was buried about 12 or 13 grafs deep.

    And I really didn't think it was a joke. Just that that was the only conceivable explanation for writing something so senselessly stupid.
     
  5. SixToe

    SixToe Active Member

    Wasn't that line in the "preview" story about Black Friday? Or did they include it in the ones about the death, too?

    If so then someone should have reworded it.
     
  6. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    I dunno if it was in the preview, but it was definitely in the day-after trampling story.
     
  7. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    Can we get some context in which this line was written?
     
  8. SF_Express

    SF_Express Active Member

    Yeah, I'm really missing the point, too. Standing by itself, I don't see the problem.
     
  9. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    I thought I'd explained it, but OK. It was a follow-up story about the Wal-Mart trampling death. This was a paragraph included to explain what Black Friday is.
     
  10. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    And what is the bad choice of words? "a throng of shoppers pushes"?
     
  11. Herbert Anchovy

    Herbert Anchovy Active Member

  12. Some Guy

    Some Guy Active Member

    I don't have a problem with that as written. If someone wants to try and convince me it's the worst thing that ever happened to journalism, I'm willing to listen.
     
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