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Women's Tennis & Shorter Skirts

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by EStreetJoe, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member


    The Sportsman's Daily: Ana Ivanovic Agrees to Hike Skirt Higher at Sony Ericsson Open
    March 21, 2008
    By The Sportsman's Daily
    Special to CBSSports.com

    MIAMI (Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) -- Twenty-year-old tennis phenom Ana Ivanovic has answered her fan's pleas to make her game more alluring by agreeing to hike her skirt an additional two inches at the upcoming Sony Ericsson Open in Miami. The move is meant to attract more male fans, (and some curious female fans) to her matches.

    "She's a wonderful tennis player and a beautiful woman, but let's face it, guys go to women's matches to watch their skirts flip up while serving," said Alan Garver, a representative from IMG. "Catching a glimpse of peach-colored panties, as delicate beads of perspiration slowly cascade down tight and tanned thighs, can be a splendid thing. It often inspires the older male fans to harken back to their innocent youth and the days of grabbing their first breast or swapping spit with their cousin's older girlfriend. So, on a business level, the hiking of the skirt works."

    "I was drawn to tennis because of the women," said John McEnroe. "A lot of people attribute my meteoric rise to stardom to my insatiable will to win and off and on court intensity. That's total BS. I just wanted to take a healthy peek at Chrissy Evert's unyielding ass -- back when she was the perky, Catholic school girl type and was something to behold; not the stone-faced and acrid ogre we've all had to endure the past 20 years."

    "We're all excited about Ana's decision to hike her skirt," said former pro and current tennis analyst Mary Joe Fernandez. "Hopefully after this we won't get crap from the men about making the same money. When you combine a brilliant baseline stroke with taut ass cheeks, the world is your oyster."

    Ivanovic was a Serbian wunderkind who soared up the women's rankings after turning pro in 2003. Savvy sports marketing pros as well as some perverted German businessmen lurking outside her practice facility had her pegged early on as a future tennis diva.

    "I liken her to a Balkan Anna Kournikova with brains," said Glenn Adamchak of the independent marketing firm, The Reserve Group. "She's the perfect Bond girl -- with the come-hither stare, charming accent and the kind of dynamic athleticism that makes you think she could do a series of back flips, make a perfect pinpoint landing on your shoulders and snap your neck with a tidy twist of her inner thigh. She's big business, and we all want a piece of her."

    For more satirical stories like this, check out The Sportsman's Daily home page.
  2. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    This thread is useless without pictures.
  3. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Mr. Adamchak has been watching too much Blade Runner. :)
  4. Editude

    Editude Active Member

    "Satirical" story? It's an obvious extension on what the ball-scratching masses find interesting. Good societal contribution.
  5. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    asked and delivered:


  6. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    No JLH and you post that?!
  7. Simon_Cowbell

    Simon_Cowbell Active Member

    Which fan was it?
  8. melock

    melock Active Member

    Much obliged.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  9. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    You bastard.
  10. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest


    and you can thank SC for running cover for me. hell, if it weren't for her pic, all ya'all would be able to see these posts before you clicked on the link. SC is brilliant some times.
  11. Simon_Cowbell

    Simon_Cowbell Active Member

    Ivanovic makes Sharapova and Kournikova look-like week-old kitty litter.
  12. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    The only downside to her elite (playing) status is that she is almost certain to be a stadium fixture.

    Would rather her be ranked a few spots lower, the better to watch her from the front row on outside courts in a few days.
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